Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes Read online

  To find out if R.L. Stine has ever been in a school

  play, pick up the special collector’s edition of

  PHANTOM OF THE AUDITORIUM.

  Fright Gallery: The Lawn Gnomes

  FIRST APPEARANCE

  Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes

  OTHER APPEARANCES

  Goosebumps Graphix: Scary Summer — in comic book form! Go Eat Worms (DVD Collection) — in live-action form!

  ORIGINS

  Also known as Mischief Gnomes, Hap and Chip claim they came from a forest far from Joe’s town, where they guarded mines and protected trees, but that they were kidnapped and forced to be slaves working as lawn ornaments.

  SPECIAL POWERS

  Coming to life at night and ruining whatever it is their human host most likes. Getting together with a mob of other 15-inch uglies and screeching loudly.

  WEAKNESSES

  A dog whistle, while silent to human ears, sends the gnomes into a frozen-trance state, stopping them from doing mischief.

  LIVING OR DEAD?

  Living, when they are not in a frozen-trance state, that is.

  FAVORITE PHRASE

  “Doing mischief is our mission in life.”

  “Tickle! Tickle! Tickle!”

  HOBBIES & INTERESTS

  Grinning and giggling. Creating mischief — or wreaking havoc is more like it. Destroying vegetable patches. Playing violent tug-of-war games with humans and trying to bounce, fold, and stretch them. And, of course, tickling.

  LAST SEEN

  Classic Goosebumps #19: Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes — and hopefully that will be the LAST we see of them!

  SPLAT STATS

  CREEPY EATS

  Joe’s and Moose’s dads grow some seriously BIZARRE foods in their vegetable patches. But you don’t have to have a green thumb to make some of these creepy eats.

  (Have an adult help you with the cutting and make sure there is supervision while using the stove!)

  GO EAT WORMS

  YOU WILL NEED

  hot dogs

  hot dog buns

  cutting board

  paring knife

  medium-size pot

  pot holder

  colander (pasta strainer)

  an adult’s help with cutting the dogs and boiling the water

  PREPARATION

  1 Cut each hot dog in half lengthwise and then cut each half into about 3 to 4 long, thin slices. Add a few small cuts to the side of each slice — but don’t cut through the worm!

  2 Fill a medium-size pot about halfway to the top with water.

  3 Add the hot dog slices and cover the pot. Turn the stove to medium high.

  4 Wait about 5 to 10 minutes for the water to boil.

  5 Once the water is boiling, let the hot dogs boil for about 3 to 6 minutes.

  6 Using a pot holder, pour the hot water and hot dogs into the colander over the sink.

  7 Assemble the hot dog worms into buns, add any toppings you like, and enjoy!

  OPTIONS

  Serve with bloodworm guts (chili), putrid puss (pickle relish), zombie brains (sauerkraut), chopped vampire heart (chopped tomato), ghoul blood (melted cheese), or any other toppings you can think of!

  MONSTER KNUCKLES

  YOU WILL NEED

  mozzarella string cheese

  green bell pepper

  cream cheese

  cutting board

  paring knife

  an adult’s help cutting the cheese and pepper

  PREPARATION

  Make the finger

  1 Cut each piece of string cheese in half so you have two shorter pieces of cheese.

  2 Carve a shallow dip for the fingernail just below the rounded end of each half.

  3 Carve little slits of cheese from the top and bottom of each finger. These are the finger joints. Use the knuckle joints on your own fingers as a guide — but don’t cut yourself!

  Make the fingernail

  1 Slice a green pepper in half from stem to bottom and then slice each half into about 4 or 5 strips.

  2 Slice each strip in half so it is not quite as thick.

  3 Cut each strip into about 4 or 5 fingernail-shaped pieces. Make these pieces long or short, depending on the monster you have in mind.

  Attach the two parts

  1 Attach each pepper fingernail to each cheese finger with a dab of cream cheese.

  2 Serve and watch your friends freak out!

  OPTIONS

  Instead of cream cheese, “glue” fingernails in place with bug pus (French dressing) or green fungus (guacamole). Swap out the green pepper for zombie (black olives), gnome (yellow pepper), or vampire nails (red pepper).

  SMALL BUT DEADLY

  Three-foot-tall garden gnomes turned out to be a LOT of trouble in one SMALL package. Here are five other critters you wouldn’t want to be caught out late with.

  AFRICANIZED BEES

  Origin: Brazil

  Affectionately known as “killer bees,” these bees deserve your respect — and distance — because they are more aggressive than your typical bee. They are more likely to swarm, take drastic measures to protect their hive, and fly off the handle in a stressful situation. Though a swarm can take down an animal the size of a horse, these bees rarely hunt humans. Even so, it is better to stay away, as 1 to 2 people a year are killed by killer-bee stings.

  DANGER LEVEL:

  SIZE:

  ARMY ANTS

  Also known as: LEGIONARY ANTS or MARABUNTA

  Army ants hunt for prey in groups that are 12 yards wide and the length of a soccer field. Sometimes they attack snakes, lizards, and even birds. Found mostly in tropical regions of Central and South America, each colony includes from 300,000 to 700,000 ants and can eat up to 100,000 prey animals each day.

  DANGER LEVEL

  SIZE:

  BOX JELLYFISH

  Number of box jellyfish species: at least 36

  The next time you’re swimming in the waters off northern Australia or Vietnam, keep an eye out for this lethally venomous jellyfish, known as the Chironex fleckeri or sea wasp. Though its venom is intended to instantly stun fish and shrimp, it works on humans, too, and can kill you before you reach shore — especially if you are small. Pale blue in color and transparent, a box jelly can grow up to 15 tentacles from each corner of its bell, and each tentacle can be as long as 10 feet.

  DANGER LEVEL:

  SIZE:

  PACU FISH

  Goes well with rice, plantains, and a lemon garnish

  Although this Brazilian cousin to the piranha starts off the size of a quarter, it grows quickly and can weigh up to 60 pounds in the wild. Its humanlike teeth are fairly small when compared to that of a tiger but strong enough to crack nuts and fruits. The black pacu is an omnivore and in the wild will eat everything from grains to snails to plants.

  It might take an interest in your pinky if you were to dangle it in its face. So watch out!

  DANGER LEVEL:

  SIZE:

  GOLDEN POISON DART FROG

  Stores poison in skin glands

  The brilliantly colored poison dart frog comes in shades of yellow, orange, and pale green. This amphibian is the largest of the poison dart frog species, most of which are about as tall as a paper clip. A two-inch-long golden dart frog has enough venom to kill two African bull elephants, 10 grown men, or 10,000 mice. The good news is that this frog uses its venomous skin for protection only and never to hunt prey.

  DANGER LEVEL:

  SIZE:

  GNOMES YOU MAY GROW

  Every writer has his or her own take on gnomes. Not all are as EVIL as R.L. Stine’s Hap and Chip, but gnomes ALWAYS make an impression, whether they are causing mischief, spending time with fairies, trolls, and other fantastic creatures, or guarding gold. Here are several of the most famous types of gnomes, which are found in these books:

  The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

  At seven feet tall, some of the gnomes in Narnia are quite a bi
t bigger than those in Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes. They are just as odd looking, if not odder, with long noses or horns. Like Hap and Chip, these gnomes were also under a spell, forced to dig a tunnel by the evil Lady of the Green Kirtle (Queen of the Underland). Once the spell was broken, they went from being serious and robotic to happy and joyous.

  In The Silver Chair, Puggleglum is described as “a most miserable little gnome, only about three feet long” with a “ridge, like a cock’s comb … on the top of its head, little pink eyes, and a mouth and chin so large and round that its face looked like that of a pigmy hippopotamus.”

  The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

  Gnomes are magical creatures that infest the gardens of wizarding households, like a pesky groundhog with a lot more attitude. And a lot more ugly — J.K. Rowling’s gnomes look like potatoes with legs. They’re not very smart, but luckily, they’re not very mean, either. To get rid of a garden gnome, you should grab the PEST, swing it around until it is very dizzy, and then toss it out of the yard. Crookshanks, Hermione’s cat, likes to chase these little creatures around the Weasleys’ garden.

  GNOME GNAMES

  Gnomes exist around the world. Here are just a few of the names they go by:

  GERMANY

  ERDMANLEINS

  GERMANY (Alpine)

  HEINZENMANNCHEN

  DENMARK & NORWAY

  NISSE

  FINLAND

  TONTTI

  ICELAND

  FODDENSKKMAEND

  POLAND

  FNOM

  BULGARIA & ALBANIA

  DUDJE

  HUNGARY, the former YUGOSLAVIA, the former CZECHOSLOVAKIA

  MANO

  HOLLAND

  KABOUTER

  BELGIUM

  SKRITEK

  SWITZERLAND & LUXEMBOURG

  KLEINMANNEKEN

  RUSSIA

  DOMOVOI DJEDOES

  Want more chills?

  Then check out

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  1

  “Let me hold her for a while.”

  Amanda grabbed the cat from my hands and bumped me out of the way. She bumped me so hard, I almost fell onto the couch.

  “You don’t have to grab,” I muttered.

  “It’s faster, Mickey,” she said. “You’re as slow as a banana.”

  Banana?

  She’s weird.

  The Caplans laughed. “I thought you were best friends,” Mrs. Caplan said. “Do you always argue like that?”

  “No. Never,” I said.

  “Yes. Always,” Amanda said.

  Mrs. Caplan is a tall woman with long, straight black hair, thick black eyebrows, and big green eyes. She loves to wear bright colors, red and purple and yellow.

  She has a deep voice and speaks as if she’s onstage. She told us she wanted to be a Broadway actress. But she ended up a drama teacher in the high school instead.

  Mr. Caplan is shorter and less colorful. And quiet. He has short, wavy hair, mostly gray. And he wears round, black-framed glasses that make him look a little like an owl.

  He was our fifth-grade teacher last year. He was a pretty good teacher, except he talked about his vegetable garden too much.

  And it was kind of weird having your next-door neighbor for your teacher.

  Bella, the Caplans’ black cat, settled into Amanda’s arms and purred softly. Amanda grinned at me.

  I knew what that grin was saying. Bella likes me better than you, Mickey.

  “Bella doesn’t usually like to be held,” Mr. Caplan said, scratching his gray hair.

  “She’s a sweet, sweet cat,” Mrs. Caplan said. “But she’s not a lap cat.”

  “She sure has taken to you, Amanda,” Mr. Caplan said.

  Amanda flashed me that obnoxious grin again.

  She should be nice to me. I’m the one who got us this cat-sitting job.

  But no problem. I’m used to my friend Amanda Underwood.

  I mean, she has lived across the street from me my whole life. So she’s like a tree … or a rock … or a mailbox. You know. Something that’s just always been there.

  Amanda seems a lot sweeter than she is. She is about two inches shorter than me. She’s kind of tiny and looks about nine or ten, even though she’s my age, twelve.

  She has straight copper-colored hair, big blue eyes, and a tiny mouth shaped just like a little heart.

  A lot of words come from that tiny mouth. I mean, she says about a hundred words to my one. And she talks really fast, like she’s always excited and in a big hurry.

  I guess I’m the quiet type — especially next to Amanda.

  Don’t get me wrong. Amanda and I are best friends. We really like each other.

  We just don’t always get along.

  “So let me get it straight,” Amanda said, gently petting Bella’s back. The cat had her eyes closed and made soft purring sounds. “We come here to your house twice a day and feed Bella and give her water.”

  Mr. Caplan nodded. “That’s right. And clean the litter box. Don’t forget that part.”

  “That will be Mickey’s job,” Amanda said.

  Nice!

  “We’ll be sailing for six days,” Mrs. Caplan said. She moved her arms to show ocean waves. “But you can reach us if you need to. I’ll leave you the numbers.”

  “I’ll leave you my brother’s number, too,” Mr. Caplan added. “In case you have any trouble.”

  “We can handle it. Easy job,” I said.

  “We won’t have any trouble,” Amanda said. “Look how sweet Bella is.”

  The cat raised her head and gazed up at Amanda with her bright yellow eyes.

  “She is so awesomely sweet,” Amanda said, cuddling the black cat.

  Famous last words?

  You have no idea.

  Even more frights to keep you awake at night! Here’s a preview of

  PHANTOM OF THE AUDITORIUM

  Another classic Goosebumps adventure with brand-new bonus material

  1

  A mysterious phantom haunted our school.

  No one ever saw him. No one knew where he lived.

  But he haunted our school for more than seventy years.

  My best friend, Zeke, and I were the ones who found him. We found him while we were doing a school play about a phantom.

  Our teacher told us that the play was cursed, but we didn’t believe her. We thought it was all just a big joke.

  But when I saw the Phantom for myself, I knew it was no joke. It was all true. Every bit of it.

  The night we found the Phantom was the scariest night of our lives!

  But I should start at the beginning.

  My name is Brooke Rodgers, and I’m in the sixth grade at Woods Mill Middle School.

  Zeke Matthews is my best friend. A lot of the other girls think it’s weird that my best friend is a boy, but I don’t care. Zeke is cooler and funnier than any girls I know. He is also a big horror movie fan, like me.

  Zeke and I have been best friends for nine years. We know just about everything about each other. For instance, I know that Zeke still wears Kermit the Frog pajamas!

  He hates it when I tell people that. His face always turns a bright shade of red. Then his freckles stand out even more.

  Zeke hates his freckles almost as much as I hate my glasses. I don’t know why he’s so hung up over a couple of freckles. After a while, you hardly even notice them. And in the summer when he gets tan, they practically disappear altogether.

  I wish my glasses could disappear. They make me look so nerdy. But if I don’t wear them, I walk into walls!

  Some girls at school think Zeke is cute. I never think about him that way. I guess it’s because I’ve known him for nearly my entire life. Ever since our moms met in their bowling league and discovered they lived on the same street.

  The excitement about the Phantom started a couple of Fridays
ago. School had ended for the day, and I was trying to get my locker open. I pushed my hair off my face and turned the combination dial. The stupid lock always jams, and it drives me crazy.

  After trying the combination four times, I finally got it open. I threw my books inside and slammed the door shut. No way was I dragging home any textbooks over the weekend. As of right this second, I was on vacation! Two whole days of no school.

  Excellent.

  Before I could turn around, a fist came whizzing by my ear and punched my locker with a loud bang!

  GOOSEBUMPS HorrorLand™

  ALL-NEW! ALL TERRIFYING!

  Also Available from Scholastic Audio Books

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  #2 CREEP FROM THE DEEP

  #3 MONSTER BLOOD FOR BREAKFAST!

  #4 THE SCREAM OF THE HAUNTED MASK

  #5 DR. MANIAC VS. ROBBY SCHWARTZ

  #6 WHO’S YOUR MUMMY?

  #7 MY FRIENDS CALL ME MONSTER

  #8 SAY CHEESE — AND DIE SCREAMING!

  #9 WELCOME TO CAMP SLITHER

  #10 HELP! WE HAVE STRANGE POWERS!

  #11 ESCAPE FROM HORRORLAND

  #12 THE STREETS OF PANIC PARK

  GOOSEBUMPS HORRORLAND BOXED SET #1-4

  WELCOME TO HORRORLAND: A SURVIVAL GUIDE

  #13 WHEN THE GHOST DOG HOWLS

  #14 LITTLE SHOP OF HAMSTERS

  #15 HEADS, YOU LOSE!

  #16 SPECIAL EDITION: WEIRDO HALLOWEEN

  #17 THE WIZARD OF OOZE

  #18 SLAPPY NEW YEAR!

  #19 THE HORROR AT CHILLER HOUSE

  GOOSEBUMPS Hall of Horrors

  #1 Claws!

  #2 Night of the Giant Everything

  GOOSEBUMPS®

  NOW WITH BONUS FEATURES!

  NIGHT OF THE LIVING DUMMY

  DEEP TROUBLE

  MONSTER BLOOD

  THE HAUNTED MASK