Secret Agent Grandma Read online

  BEWARE!!

  DO NOT READ THIS

  BOOK FROM

  BEGINNING TO END!

  Yes! Mom and Dad are out of town, and your sweet old grandma is coming to take care of you. You are ready for freedom. But are you ready for … Grandma?

  The terror starts at the train station, with two old ladies who both look exactly like your grandma.

  If you go after the Grandma who is still on the train, you might end up battling aliens with eyes the size of Ping-Pong balls. Or jumping from a hovering helicopter! If you go home with the other Grandma, we have one piece of advice for you:

  Stay out of the rose garden!

  This scary adventure is all about you. You decide what will happen. And you decide how terrifying the scares will be!

  Start on PAGE 1. Then follow the instructions at the bottom of each page. You make the choices. If you choose well, you’ll survive this adventure. But if you make the wrong choice … BEWARE!

  SO TAKE A DEEP BREATH. CROSS YOUR FINGERS. AND TURN TO PAGE 1 TO GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS!

  Contents

  Beware!!

  Title Page

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  23

  24

  25

  26

  27

  28

  29

  30

  31

  32

  33

  34

  35

  36

  37

  38

  39

  40

  41

  42

  43

  44

  45

  46

  47

  48

  49

  50

  51

  52

  53

  54

  55

  56

  57

  58

  59

  60

  61

  62

  63

  64

  65

  66

  67

  68

  69

  70

  71

  72

  73

  74

  75

  76

  77

  78

  79

  80

  81

  82

  83

  84

  85

  86

  87

  88

  89

  90

  91

  92

  93

  94

  95

  96

  97

  98

  99

  100

  101

  102

  103

  104

  105

  106

  107

  108

  109

  110

  111

  112

  113

  114

  115

  116

  117

  118

  119

  120

  121

  122

  123

  124

  125

  126

  127

  128

  129

  130

  131

  Teaser

  About the Author

  Also Available

  Copyright

  “Nothing is going to happen to me,” you shout down to your mother.

  She gazes up at you from the bottom of the stairs. Her packed suitcases sit waiting by the front door. You recognize that worried look on her face.

  “Do you remember everything I told you?” she asks. Her forehead wrinkles in concern. “Or should I write it down?”

  “Mom! I’m not a baby.” You plop onto the top step of the staircase and repeat your instructions for the fifth time. “I take a cab to the railroad station. I wait on the platform on the incoming side of the station. Grandma’s train arrives at one P.M. I’ll know her by the yellow stretch pants and purple shirt she’ll be wearing. Then, if she hasn’t been arrested by the fashion police for wearing such a wacko outfit —”

  “Don’t make fun of your grandmother,” your mother cuts in. “She’s unusual, but I’m sure you two will get along fine.”

  “Your mother’s right,” your dad adds, coming through the front door. “Your grandma is full of surprises.”

  Yeah sure, you think. How is some little old lady going to surprise me?

  Go on to PAGE 2.

  Your dad picks up the remaining suitcases and heads back out to the car. Your mother doesn’t move. You flash her your most trustworthy smile.

  She sighs. “I guess you’ll be all right,” she says uncertainly.

  “Of course I will!” you assure her. “What could happen?”

  You follow your mom out to the car and wave as your parents drive away. The moment their car turns the corner you leap into the air. “Freedom!” you cry.

  No parents for a whole week! Just a seventy-five-year-old grandma. She’ll probably spend the whole time snoozing on the sun porch. You’ll practically be on your own!

  The cab arrives, and you hop in. You instruct the driver to take you to the train station.

  But as he nears the station you have a pang of doubt. You haven’t seen your grandmother since you were a little kid. You wonder if you’ll recognize her.

  Worry until PAGE 3.

  You may not recognize Grandma’s face, you tell yourself, but you’ll definitely spot her purple-and-yellow outfit. Besides, she’ll know you from the photos your parents sent her.

  You pay the driver and hop out.

  Hey! That’s weird, you think. Why was your name announced over the loudspeaker? You rush to the information booth inside the station, wondering what could be wrong.

  “You just paged me,” you tell the young man in the booth.

  “You’ve got a call.” He hands you a phone.

  “Hello?” There’s a lot of static on the line. You can barely hear, but it’s definitely your mom’s voice.

  “We’re — psst — on the plane … pfffft — home immediately!”

  “What? I can’t hear you!” you shout into the phone. “Do you want me to go home? What about Grandma?”

  “Pssssfffft — danger … grandmother …”

  That’s all you hear. Then the line goes dead.

  Turn to PAGE 108.

  You’re surprised to see your friends Chuck and Ginny rushing toward you.

  “Hey, guys,” you greet them. “I’m here to meet my grandmother. How about you?”

  “We’re going to the hockey game, remember?” Chuck tells you. “I invited you.”

  You remember. You couldn’t go because of Grandma’s arrival.

  “Our moms are letting us take the train on our own!” Ginny adds. “Of course, we had to promise to stay out of trouble.” Ginny giggles. “As if!”

  “Have fun with Grandma,” Chuck teases. They board the train.

  You sigh jealously as you scan the thinning crowd.

  Still no grandmother.

  Is this what your mother had been trying to tell you? That your grandmother wasn’t coming after all?

  You’re about to leave the station when you hear something that stops you in your tracks. Something terri
ble.

  What makes your blood run cold? Find out on PAGE 86.

  Wait and see seems like the best thing to do.

  But you don’t want to do it here!

  You double-check the newspaper article. “Let’s get back here when the meteor shower is supposed to begin,” you instruct Sophie and Andrew. “Then maybe we’ll find out how it all ties in together.”

  You leave a note for Grandma and head over to the park to play Frisbee. You can’t help wondering what will happen. You’re so distracted you miss the Frisbee every single time.

  At seven P.M. sharp, you, Sophie, and Andrew creep back to the rose garden. It looks spooky in the dark. The roses seem even larger than they did before.

  There’s no sign of Grandma.

  Turn to PAGE 15.

  CRRRRCKKK! you hear again.

  You peer up into the tree by your front gate. “There’s a man up there!” you exclaim.

  “Don’t look up!” the man in the tree orders.

  You, Sophie, and Andrew immediately stare down at the ground.

  “Tell me,” the man continues, “is your grandma around?”

  Your head snaps up. “Do you want to see her?” you demand.

  “No! No!” the man tells you in a hoarse whisper. “I want to make sure she doesn’t see me!”

  “She’s in the back,” you tell him.

  The man leaps down out of the tree. His brown eyes narrow as he studies your face. He seems to be sizing you up.

  Two can play at that game, you figure. You check him out. His black hair is cut very short. He wears torn black jeans and a black T-shirt.

  “So who are you?” Sophie blurts.

  “Special Agent Bendrey,” the man says. “I’m an alien investigator. And I think the four of us should have a chat.”

  Should you trust this guy? Maybe he can help you.

  Or maybe he’s another impostor!

  Get rid of Bendrey on PAGE 19.

  Spill the beans on PAGE 27.

  “Forget it,” you scold the cab driver. “That’s snooping.”

  The front door pops open.

  “What’s taking you so long?” Grandma demands. She strides to the cab, grasps the suitcase handles, and lifts both bags.

  “I need to start working out,” the cab driver mutters.

  “Come on, Cookie!” Grandma beams at you. “Show me my room.”

  “It’s at the top of the stairs,” you tell her.

  You follow her into the house.

  “Perfect,” she croons, entering the guest room. “Right over the rose garden. I’ll watch my babies growing out of the ground.”

  Did you hear right? “Your babies?” you repeat.

  Grandma spins around and stares at you. Then she smiles. “I think of the rose bushes as my babies,” she explains.

  Grandma isn’t just unusual, you think. She’s plain weird!

  You peer down. You’ve never paid much attention to the garden before. It takes up most of the backyard. Dozens of flowers sprout from each bush. Okay, so this year they’re wacky colors. And they are much larger than usual.

  But basically, what’s the big deal?

  Grandma suddenly stiffens beside you!

  Find out what’s wrong on PAGE 30.

  The three new Grandmas chatter at once. “So there you are!”

  “Hope number three didn’t cause trouble!”

  “Is everyone all right in here?”

  “What’s going on?” you scream.

  Silence fills the train car.

  All of the Grandmas stare at you. So do Chuck and Ginny.

  “Excuse me for yelling,” you say. “But would someone please explain to me what’s happening here?”

  Grandma #1 laughs. “I was just getting to that!” she tells you. “Allow me to introduce my clones.”

  Then she explains the whole unbelievable story.

  Your grandma is a top government scientist working on a secret cloning project. A project everyone seems to want to get their hands on! That’s why she’s coming to stay with you — to hide out.

  You’re the luckiest kid in the world. For the next month you have five Grandmas. And they all spoil you!

  THE END

  You gaze down at the garden, holding your breath.

  “Nothing’s moving,” Sophie says.

  “No sounds,” Andrew adds hopefully.

  You nod. Could you have done it? Did you actually destroy the aliens?

  You open your mouth to say something. But then your jaw drops.

  Dozens of wormy aliens slither out from under the mattress. And they’re bigger than they were five minutes ago!

  “It didn’t work!” you wail.

  “Maybe the mattress was too soft,” Andrew says.

  “It wasn’t heavy enough,” you realize. “Throw everything you can get your hands on!”

  Frantically, you grab a chair and footstool. Out the window! Andrew and Sophie toss down Grandma’s suitcases. You hurl out the stereo and a radio. They land with a crash. The radio blasts on.

  There’s nothing left to throw. And the aliens are still swarming around in the garden!

  Turn to PAGE 130.

  You don’t have a moment to lose. The train car below you is filled with those creatures! And they’ve found you! They’ll be climbing up after you any minute now!

  “Geronimo!” you shout to Chuck and Ginny.

  Then you leap off the train!

  Oops! Bad timing. The train is going over a bridge. A very high bridge.

  It’s a loooooooong way down.

  So long, in fact, that you have time to read the big banner hanging on the side of the train car:

  EVANSTOWN HIGH SCHOOL ANNUAL COSTUME PARTY. Too bad you didn’t notice it sooner.

  Say good-bye, party animal!

  THE END

  “Out! Now!” Grandma rasps.

  She heard you.

  You and your friends crawl out from under the bed.

  You gaze at the horrifying creature in front of you. Grandma’s human face is shoved up on top of her head, as if it were a Halloween mask. In its place is an oozing blob of flesh. A single yellow eye gleams in the center.

  “Interfering fools!” the Grandma-creature booms. “Now I will have to destroy you ahead of schedule!”

  Before you can protest, the creature spits at you.

  Gross! A long, sticky strand of saliva flies out of her mouth. It attaches to your forehead and wraps around Sophie’s and Andrew’s heads. It burns where it touches your skin.

  “Yuck!” Sophie shrieks.

  The creature spits over and over again. The strands are like a spider’s web. Soon, you and your friends are completely encased in a sticky cocoon. You can’t see a thing.

  “You can’t escape the pod,” the creature informs you. “And the acid in the web will eat through your flesh.”

  You hear her leave the room.

  This is one sticky situation you can’t get out of. So this must be

  THE END.

  The station rattles and shakes around you. Your hands clutch the information counter so tightly your fingers cramp. A framed picture on the wall behind the clerk crashes to the floor.

  Get me out of here!

  You spin and dash out of the station. Your heart pounds and your breath comes in gasps as you race along the sidewalk.

  Whoops! Too bad you weren’t looking where you were going. Otherwise you would have seen the garbage truck before you landed in the middle of the gunk, the goo, and the gross slime.

  Eeeewwwww. Hold your nose and close the book quickly! You stink! You’ve come to a very smelly

  END!

  “We’ll throw stuff at them.” You point to Grandma’s window. “From up there.”

  The aliens are busy eating and don’t notice you sneaking into the house. You race to Grandma’s room. “They’re all crowded together in that corner,” you cry, glancing out the window. “Even Grandma. We might be able to get them all at once!”


  “Let’s use this!” Andrew struggles to get the mattress off the bed. You and Sophie help him drag it to the window.

  “One! Two!” You strain to lift the mattress over the sill. “Three!”

  The mattress drops directly on top of the group of aliens.

  Did it work? Find out on PAGE 9.

  You know what the letters spell! It’s so simple that you laugh at yourself for not getting it sooner.

  EMPLEH. Whoever wrote the message on the inside of the window didn’t realize it would be read backward on the outside. EMPLEH is HELP ME, written backward. You say it out loud.

  “What did you say, dear?” Grandma asks. “Do you need help with something?”

  You are about to tell her about the message when something you see inside the train stops you. You stare past the letters on the window and into the compartment.

  Your eyes widen. You blink several times. You take a step closer to the window. Your nose presses up against the glass.

  You don’t believe what you’re seeing!

  What has you glued to the train window? Find out on PAGE 98.

  “I bet nothing will happen,” you say. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for everything.”

  Before Sophie and Andrew can answer, the ground beneath your feet begins to rumble.

  “What’s going on?” Sophie cries.

  You glance up. Dozens of meteors shoot across the sky. They light up the night. You can see the garden clearly.

  And Grandma!

  She stands in the middle of the roses. By the light of the meteor shower, you watch Grandma reach up and pull off her face!

  You hear Sophie and Andrew gasp beside you. But you can’t tear your eyes away. Grandma’s new face oozes and bubbles. A single yellow eye blinks in the center of her forehead. Her thick purple tail thrashes wildly.

  Surrounding her are dozens of purple pulsating eggs. The vibrations from the eggs make the ground shake.

  Grandma lets out a bone-chilling howl.

  Immediately, all the eggs burst open!

  Turn to PAGE 43.

  “Grandma!” you call again louder. “The roses!”

  Grandma dashes toward you. She spots the hose and yanks it out of the bush. It gushes water.

  “We have to turn it off in the garage,” you tell her. “And I don’t think I’m strong enough.”