Please Don't Feed the Vampire! Read online

  You can’t believe you wasted your allowance on Vampire in a Can. It’s the dumbest Halloween costume ever made. But wait. Don’t throw away the can! There’s something else in there. A packet — labeled DANGER….

  Do you dare open the packet — or not? Either way, you’re in grave trouble. What do you do when you start turning into a vampire? Is there a cure for being undead? What happens when your best friend starts looking like your next meal? How does a vampire deal with braces? And how do you protect yourself from a vampire dog?

  This scary adventure is all about you. You decide what will happen. And you decide how terrifying the scares will be!

  Start on Page 1. Then follow the instructions at the bottom of each page. You make the choices. If you choose well, you’ll survive this adventure. But if you make the wrong choice … BEWARE!

  SO TAKE A DEEP BREATH. CROSS YOUR FINGERS. AND TURN TO PAGE 1 TO GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS!

  Contents

  Beware!!

  Title Page

  1

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  Teaser

  About the Author

  Also Available

  Copyright

  “I look like a nerd, don’t I? Like a complete nerd,” you moan to your friend Gabe. In the mirror you see your costume and wince. “Halloween is only a few days away. I’m doomed!”

  You and Gabe have been best friends for two years. Gabe has long brown hair, wire-rimmed glasses — and a way of giving advice that sometimes bugs you.

  “You do look pretty stupid,” Gabe admits. “Where did you get that costume, anyway?”

  “It’s called Vampire in a Can,” you explain, holding up the cardboard can. “I bought it from Mr. Reuterly at Scary Stuff.”

  “I don’t believe it!” Gabe slaps his forehead. “You bought a costume from the Eyeball Man? What if he took out his glass eye — right there in the store — and showed it to you?”

  “He never takes out his glass eye,” you answer.

  “Okay, okay,” Gabe says. “But your costume is still ridiculous. It’s just a set of plastic fangs, a cheap little black cape, and a fake tattoo of fang marks for your neck. Isn’t there anything else in the can?”

  You pick it up and peer inside. “Hey, look!” you cry.

  Go on to PAGE 2.

  “What?” Gabe asks, looking interested.

  “There is something else in the can,” you answer. You reach in and pull out a small plastic packet that was stuck to the inside. It looks like a ketchup packet.

  “What is it?” Gabe moves closer.

  “I think it’s fake blood,” you tell him.

  “Really? Cool,” Gabe says. He picks up the Vampire in a Can box and reads the label. “That’s weird. It doesn’t say anything on the box about fake blood.”

  Then you notice the writing on the packet.

  In bloodred letters, it says, DANGER — KEEP AWAY.

  You hand the packet to Gabe. He reads the label and his eyes grow wide. “Are you going to open it?” he asks.

  You gulp. The words on the packet are kind of scary.

  But you’re dying to know what’s inside.

  So? Are you going to open it?

  If you open the packet, turn to PAGE 34.

  If you don’t open it, turn to PAGE 67.

  “Yeow!” you cry, jerking away from the vicious dog.

  But Buttermilk is fast. He lunges at you, baring long, sharp fangs. His hot breath stinks.

  Oh, no. He’s a vampire dog, too!

  “Get off, Buttermilk!” you command. You push him away and scramble to your feet.

  Buttermilk lunges at you!

  “Yikes!” you shout. You dash across the Berklines’ yard and jump the fence. You run around to the back.

  There, on the back patio, are three more dogs. All bitten in the neck. All changing into vampire dogs!

  Two of them are dachshunds. The third is a big mutt. They lift their heads and sniff the air.

  Then they all howl and leap at you!

  You race to the gate. Then skid to a stop.

  Buttermilk is waiting just outside the fence!

  Turn to PAGE 20.

  Standing in the doorway are the vampires. All of them!

  Countess Yvonne stalks toward you. Right behind her are at least twenty others. Hungry for blood!

  “Don’t be afraid,” Countess Yvonne says. “We only want to drain the rest of your fresh, human blood. Then you’ll truly be one of us. Don’t worry. It won’t hurt.”

  The last person who told you that was your dentist.

  “Run!” you shout at Gabe.

  But you can’t run. The vampires are pushing into the small room, filling the doorway.

  You feel like you’re losing your mind. You cry, “I’m going batty!”

  The countess stops in her tracks and starts laughing. “ ‘Batty’! What a hoot!” The other vampires begin laughing uncontrollably. The corny pun has them in hysterics!

  The bloodsuckers are distracted. Here’s your chance! You drop to your hands and knees and start cra
wling. Gabe follows you. You scramble like mad between the legs of the guffawing vampires.

  Quick, make a decision. Which way now?

  If you run back the way you came, turn to PAGE 18.

  If you try to find the Garlic Spray, turn to PAGE 56.

  The red liquid gleams. A vampire places a plastic straw in one of the goblets and holds it toward you. “Sip?”

  You lick your dry lips.

  You’d die for a gulp.

  But you swallow hard and shake your head.

  You can’t let yourself drink it. If you do, and it’s blood — and you know it’s blood — you’re pretty sure you’ll be a vampire forever. And forever is a long time.

  “No,” you repeat. “I’ll pass on the blood!”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” Countess Yvonne says.

  She gives one short nod to the others. They glide toward you. Closing in on you.

  In desperation, you search for a weapon. But the only thing you see are the goblets of blood.

  Frantically, you dart to the table and lift a goblet. You toss the whole glassful of liquid into the countess’s face!

  Turn to PAGE 16.

  You back up, heart pounding in fear.

  What now? Is Gabe a vampire, too? Did Fifi bite him?

  Gabe bursts out laughing. “Ha-ha. Got you good!” he says, doubling over.

  “You creep!” you yell.

  Gabe laughs again, then tells you the truth. “It was easy,” he says. “I just ran over to the Eyeball Man’s store. I remembered seeing something there called Dog in a Can. So I bought a bunch of them. Sure enough, there were these little packets inside. They said, ‘Danger — Keep Away’ — just like on the blood packet. So I opened one, and it was a dog biscuit. I figured it was worth a try.”

  “You mean you gave the biscuits to the vampire dogs, and they changed back?” you gasp. “Excellent!”

  Then an idea hits you. A great idea!

  “Do you have one of those special dog biscuits left?” you ask.

  “Yeah,” Gabe replies. “So what?”

  “Give me one,” you say. “I think I want to be a dog for Halloween!”

  THE END

  You’re terrified of the dog. Then you remember.

  Fido can’t kill you.

  You’re a vampire! Only a few things can kill you.

  A stake through the heart. Being exposed to sunlight. Being burned alive.

  You bare your fangs and hiss. The Doberman slinks away, whining.

  “Not bad,” Gabe admits.

  Oh, by the way. There’s one other thing that can knock you out….

  A blood shortage.

  Without blood, vampires don’t die. But they become so weak, they can’t move.

  That’s what’s happening to you now. With a moan, you collapse.

  Uh-oh. Turn to PAGE 36.

  You want to change back into a kid. But you don’t have a clue how.

  So you fly back out the window, searching for Gabe.

  Your radar spots him. You dart down and land gently on his shoulder.

  Gabe twists around and stares into your tiny bat face.

  “Yuck!” he says. “You’re really ugly. Can’t you change back?”

  You just sit there, screeching.

  Finally Gabe nods in understanding. “I guess I’ll have to take you home and keep you as a pet. Boy, my mom is going to freak. Maybe I can figure out a cure someday.”

  Unfortunately, Gabe never figures it out. He does, however, grow up to become a major league baseball player. As a private joke, he lets you live in the clubhouse — as the unofficial bat boy!

  THE END

  “I think I’ll go for choice number three,” you tell Gabe. “I’m tired. Maybe if I take a nap, this whole vampire thing will wear off.”

  “Yeah.” Gabe nods. But he looks nervous.

  You can tell he’s wondering: What if it doesn’t wear off?

  You’re wondering about that, too.

  You scribble a note to your parents. It says that you’re sick and have gone to bed. Then you send Gabe home.

  You curl up in your bed for a long nap.

  When you open your eyes, it’s ten o’clock at night — and you’re thirstier than ever.

  You race to the mirror hanging on your closet door.

  Nothing. No reflection. You’re not there.

  “I’ve got to have blood!” you say out loud.

  Go on to PAGE 30.

  This has gone too far, you decide.

  You’ve got to get help from some adults — and fast.

  Before the vampires bite Gabe!

  You race out of the office and run all the way home. But when you reach your house, you get a sinking feeling.

  There are no lights on inside the house. No cars in the driveway.

  Your parents aren’t home.

  Weird, you think. They didn’t have any plans to go out.

  You feel a sudden chill up your spine.

  Slowly, you walk up your front steps and open the door.

  Turn to PAGE 131.

  You don’t trust the old vampire woman. The minute you’re free, you shove her into the cell and slam the door! Then you turn the black iron key in the lock.

  “Oh, what fools! What fools!” the old woman cries.

  She’s right, of course. You are fools.

  You’re in a dungeon full of bloodsucking vampires! How do you ever hope to get out unless you trust someone? At least you could put your faith in a sweet little old lady!

  True — she’s a sweet little old lady with fangs.

  But who else is going to help you?

  There’s very little hope now. You shouldn’t even bother to go on with this book.

  That is, unless you can pass a test to prove that you have good sense.

  Turn to PAGE 132 to take the test.

  Walking to the front of the building, you complain, “I’m dying of thirst.”

  “Quit talking about death,” orders Gabe.

  There’s a buzzer outside the office. Gabe pushes it.

  Instantly, the office door swings open. A light comes on inside.

  You peer in and see a small waiting room. At the back is another door. The sign on the second door says, NO ADMITTANCE.

  But there’s no one in the office.

  “Who opened the door?” you wonder.

  Gabe whispers, “If this were a movie, I’d be screaming, ‘Don’t go inside, dummy!’ ”

  You must be a dummy. You step inside.

  Turn to PAGE 24.

  Before the parrot reaches you, a net scoops him up. The net is attached to a pole. A pole held by Mr. Weniger.

  “Got him!” Weniger declares triumphantly.

  He pops the squawking bird into a cage.

  “What’s going on?” you demand.

  “I’ll show you,” he offers. “Come with me.”

  You follow Weniger outside. In his driveway is a large van. Inside it is a menagerie of vampire pets!

  “I’ve rounded up all the vampire animals,” he announces proudly. “Letting Fifi become a vampire was almost a disaster. She could have started an epidemic. Vampirism could have spread across the entire world!”

  That would be bad. “But you got them all?” you ask.

  “Every last one,” Weniger replies confidently.

  “What are you going to do with the animals?” you ask.

  “Sell them to the circus,” he explains. “I’m going to make my fortune!”

  “So this is a happy ending,” you say. You slap at a pesky mosquito that just bit your neck.

  A pesky vampire mosquito …

  THE END

  When you wake up a couple of hours later, the sun has set. A shiver of excitement runs down your spine.

  You climb out your bedroom window and slip into the night. This will be a blast, you think. Vampires rule!

  You slink through the neighborhood. Rats and mice meekly approach you. You are their master. “Cool,” you
whisper to yourself. “I’m king of the rodents.”

  Who will be your first victim?

  You’ll find her name on PAGE 48.

  You race to answer the phone.

  “Hello?”

  It’s your mom. “Hi, sweetie,” she says casually. “Listen, I need you to do something for me.”

  “Uh, hi, Mom,” you say. “Listen, I can’t right now. I’ve got to run after Fifi. She just got loose!”

  “That’s okay,” your mom answers. “She’ll come back. Now here’s what I want you to buy at the store….”

  By the time you’re done listening to her, ten minutes have passed. You and Gabe run out into the street.

  Fifi is gone!

  Turn to PAGE 75.

  “You wretch!” the countess screams. “What have you done?” Her terror-filled voice stuns you.

  Blood splashes across her face and runs down her neck.

  It’s just blood, you think. Isn’t that what she drinks?

  But you quickly understand. The sight of blood has driven the other vampires into a frenzy.

  They rush over to her and attack — by licking her face! They slobber at her cheeks, her neck, her eyes and nose.

  The countess screams, sinking to the floor.

  Are they going to eat her? Your stomach turns. You feel faint.

  And worst of all, you feel thirsty. Part of you wants to join them — to lick up the blood, too!

  No, you tell yourself. Now’s your chance to get away!

  If you want to escape from this place, turn to PAGE 79.

  If you want to lick up the blood, turn to PAGE 110.

  “Okay,” you agree. You shake Reuterly’s hand. “I’ll do it.”

  He rubs his hands together. “Good. Let’s go.”

  Holding you, Reuterly spreads his cape like bat wings. As if by magic, the two of you float straight out of the grave. You land among the cemetery’s gravestones.

  “Wow!” you gush, amazed. “Can you teach me that trick?”

  “Later,” Reuterly answers. “Now lead me to your young friends. I’m quite thirsty. Who will it be?”

  That’s easy. Robbie Morgan.

  Robbie’s three years older than you, and he lives on your block. He’s always grabbing your bike. He calls you “Rat Face” in front of your friends.