Please Don't Feed the Vampire! Read online

Carmine opens a door leading into a cavernous space. The warehouse. The only light comes from some dim red bulbs.

  At the far end of the room, you see a row of coffins!

  Don’t scream. Just hurry to PAGE 68.

  Your instincts tell you to hide.

  So you quickly jump into the open grave and crouch down.

  CRUNCH. CRACK.

  Footsteps! They come closer.

  CRACCCCKKK. CRUSHMASHH.

  What is that? you wonder. It sounds like someone dragging something through the woods.

  You crouch lower, huddling in one corner of the grave.

  All at once, something large and heavy is heaved into the grave. It lands on your head.

  THUD.

  It’s about the size of …

  “No!” you scream when you realize what it is.

  Turn to PAGE 100.

  Drink lots of liquids.

  But for you, only one beverage will hit the spot: blood!

  You’re so desperate, you’re tempted to bite your pet poodle, Fifi, on the neck. But instead, you spend the day with the blinds drawn, snoozing.

  After school, Gabe comes over.

  “I don’t think this vampire thing is wearing off,” you tell him. “We’ve got to go back to Mr. Reuterly’s store.”

  “Fine.” Gabe shrugs. “But stay away from the Eyeball Man. His glass eye is creepy.”

  Gabe heads to your bedroom door and yanks it open wide.

  A beam of daylight streams into your room from the hall. You twist away, feeling a searing pain.

  “No! Close the door — quick!” you shout at Gabe. “The light is killing me!”

  Turn to PAGE 54.

  Your mom hurries out of the room. When she returns a minute later, your dad is with her. Your dad, the dentist!

  “Hey, kiddo,” he says. A little dental mirror peeps above his shirt pocket. “Got a problem with a tooth?”

  “No!” you shout at him. “I don’t have a problem with a tooth. I’ve got fangs! Don’t you get it? I’ve turned into a vampire!”

  Your parents exchange a worried glance. “I know they seem like fangs to you,” your dad says. “I know how kids your age feel. You’re self-conscious about your looks. I’ll take you to my office right now — and before you know it, we’ll have the problem under control.”

  “Now?” you say. “But it’s ten o’clock at night!”

  “Get in the car,” he orders.

  Turn to PAGE 94.

  “See? I told you I have fangs!” you exclaim to your mom.

  “Sorry,” she says, laughing. “I don’t see any fangs. But you certainly need to brush those teeth!”

  No fangs? Brush your teeth?

  You rush to the mirror. You see yourself! Your reflection is back! And the fangs are gone.

  “Yes!” you cry, pumping a fist in the air. “The garlic worked! I’m normal again!”

  Gabe races to the mirror and checks out his own reflection.

  “Yeah!” he cheers. “We’re normal! We’re normal!”

  “Thank goodness!” you rejoice. “Because being a vampire is a real pain in the neck!”

  THE END

  “I’m not an animal,” you tell Gabe in a low, animal-like voice. “I’m a vampire — a vampire with braces. Since I can’t bite anyone, I have to get blood any way I can.”

  “Whatever,” Gabe says. You can see he’s still grossed out.

  “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to be my friend anymore,” you tell him.

  Gabe shrugs. “No, I’ll be your friend. I just won’t invite you over for family dinners anymore.”

  “Yeah, I see your point,” you admit, licking a last drop of steak blood from your pinkie.

  “But what about when your dad takes off the braces?” Gabe asks. “What if you start biting people again?”

  Turn to PAGE 101.

  The old woman smiles at you. Fangs hang down over her wrinkled old lips.

  You’re caught. Trapped in a cell, in a basement full of vampires. And a hideous female vampire is blocking the door!

  You hate having to do this to an old woman, but …

  You drive your shoulder into her.

  She doesn’t budge. Not an inch. You bounce backwards. “Wow!” you exclaim. “Did you ever think of playing for the Dallas Cowboys?”

  “Shhh!” she says urgently, putting a finger to her lips. “They’ll hear you!”

  She glances over her shoulder to be sure no one’s coming. Then she takes the black iron key from the door. She uses it to unlock Gabe’s chains.

  “If you want my help, come with me,” she whispers. She hobbles to the door and motions for you to follow.

  You glance at Gabe. He shrugs. His expression is cool and distant. Like he doesn’t care what happens.

  You’ll have to decide on your own.

  If you trust the old woman, turn to PAGE 128.

  If you want to lock her in the cell, turn to PAGE 11.

  Open the packet? you wonder.

  “No, I’ll pass,” you decide, shaking your head. “I mean, seriously. It might be poison or something.”

  Gabe tosses you the packet nervously.

  “This gives me the creeps,” he says. “I don’t even want to hold it.”

  “Don’t give it to me,” you object, throwing it back to him.

  Gabe lets it fall to the floor. “I don’t want it.”

  Just then, your dog comes trotting into the room. She snatches up the packet in her teeth.

  “Hey — no, Fifi!” you scold your dog, a big black poodle. “Put that down. No!”

  But you’re too late. Fifi tears into the packet. Something red drips from her mouth.

  “Yuck!” Gabe says. “She’s eating it! And it looks like blood!”

  Turn to PAGE 83.

  “In here,” Herman Carmine says, motioning for you to come in.

  “How stupid do you think I look?” you sputter. You turn and run. Back through the twisting hallway. Back to the office where you left Gabe….

  Except — there’s no Gabe.

  Where is he? Did he get scared and leave?

  No. He’d never leave without you. He’s a loyal friend. Usually.

  Did he come looking for you?

  But you weren’t even gone five minutes.

  Without warning, the NO ADMITTANCE door slams behind you. Then you hear a scream. You’d know that scream anywhere! It’s Gabe’s!

  Oh, no! Gabe didn’t leave. He was kidnapped!

  Gabe was right. You walked into a trap. You brought these vampires some fresh blood!

  What do I do now? you moan silently.

  If you search the building for Gabe, turn to PAGE 104.

  If you go home to get help, turn to PAGE 10.

  “Don’t bite him! That’s my best friend!” you shout.

  But it’s too late. Mr. Reuterly’s fangs are already piercing Gabe’s neck. You hear a horrible slurping sound. Gabe struggles and kicks like a madman.

  “Stop!” you scream, kicking Reuterly in the shins.

  Finally he drops Gabe on the doorstep, like an empty can of soda.

  Turn to PAGE 90.

  “Sanguine” means “bloody”?

  Yikes!

  “You’re right,” you decide. “I’d better not go there.”

  Gabe lets out a sigh of relief. “Good. But now what?”

  “I’m going home to get some sleep. Maybe this thing will wear off by the morning,” you answer.

  “What if it doesn’t?” Gabe asks.

  “Then we’ll try one of your other ideas,” you reply. “Call me tomorrow.”

  You hurry home and curl up in bed. As you pull the covers up, you snag the blanket on your fangs.

  This bites, you think as you drift off to sleep.

  Wake up on PAGE 126.

  “What’s going on?” you ask Mrs. Weniger. “Where are all the pets?”

  “We had a small accident,” she answers. “I’ll be getting some new animals
by the end of the week.”

  “Even the fish are gone!” you exclaim.

  “I know.” Mrs. Weniger nods. “And they’re cold-blooded. I didn’t think —”

  Then she stops herself.

  “Sorry,” she says. “Come back next week.”

  She pushes you out the door.

  “What did she mean about the fish being cold-blooded?” Gabe asks when you’re outside.

  You shudder. “I think Fifi must have bitten all her animals. The fish, too. Even though their blood is cold. Usually, vampires prefer a warm meal.”

  “That answer sounds pretty fishy,” Gabe says. “Hey — where are you going?”

  “To Weniger’s house,” you answer as you hop on your bike.

  “How come?” Gabe asks.

  “Because he had Fifi yesterday,” you call, riding away. “And I’ll bet he still has her!”

  Turn to PAGE 123.

  You stare into the mirror.

  Nothing stares back at you.

  Of course, that’s because the room is pitch-black. But when you snap on the desk lamp, your worst fear comes true.

  You have no reflection. You’re not there!

  Gabe peers into the mirror. He stops chewing his gum.

  “Whoa!” he breathes. “What happened to you?”

  You know what happened. You know why you have no reflection in the mirror.

  You’re a vampire!

  “You’ve got to help me, Gabe,” you groan.

  “Yikes!” Gabe cries. “What’s happening to your teeth?”

  “My teeth?” you say weakly. You touch your canines.

  With a sickening shock, you feel them growing! Turning into long, pointy fangs!

  “I’m so thirsty!” you moan. “For blood!” You stare longingly at Gabe’s neck.

  “Keep away from me!” Gabe cries, stumbling backwards.

  You want to, you need to — but can you?

  Can you drink your best friend’s blood?

  If you bite Gabe, turn to PAGE 87.

  If you don’t bite him, turn to PAGE 103.

  You scream and scream. But no one is listening. Whoever is up there keeps shoveling in dirt. The earth drops in faster and faster. It fills your mouth until you can no longer scream.

  In minutes, you’re completely buried. You know you should really panic now. But instead, a warm, cozy feeling sweeps over you.

  Oh, well, you think as you settle into the comfortable grave. This is a perfect place for a nap. After all this excitement, you’re feeling tired.

  Dead tired.

  THE END

  In the next few moments, Mr. Reuterly drains your blood and leaves you for dead in the open grave.

  Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to stick your neck out for your friends.

  THE END

  “Fifi!” you cry. “Here, girl!”

  But she doesn’t appear. She’s long gone.

  There’s no point searching for Fifi. She could be anywhere! You slink back into the house and collapse on the living room sofa. When you see her water bowl, you feel a pang in your heart.

  You also feel a pang in your head from when Fifi slammed you to the floor.

  Every once in a while, you check the front yard to see if your dog has come home. She hasn’t. You and Gabe spend the afternoon watching reruns of Lassie on TV.

  Just after sunset, the phone rings.

  A cranky-sounding caller grumbles, “Your dog is out in my front yard howling. Come and get her, quick — before I lose my temper and call the police!”

  Hurry to PAGE 27.

  Panting, you run the last block to Scary Stuff. You get there just as Mr. Reuterly is turning away to leave. His balding head shines in the moonlight.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Eye — I mean, Mr. Reuterly,” you call.

  He turns around and glares at you. “Yes?” he growls.

  “Uh, I bought this c-costume,” you stammer, showing him the Vampire in a Can. “And, um, I accidentally opened the packet inside. And, uh, well, drank the stuff in it.”

  Mr. Reuterly points to the label on the side of the can. “See this?” he says. “There’s a number to call if you have a problem. Now I must be going. Good night — and good luck,” he adds with a mysterious smirk.

  As Mr. Reuterly walks away, you and Gabe huddle under a streetlight. You read a message written on the can’s label.

  It says: FOR PROBLEMS WITH THIS COSTUME, CALL 555–VAMPIRE. CALLS ACCEPTED AFTER DARK ONLY!

  Turn to PAGE 39.

  “Caught you!” a voice exclaims.

  You try to pull away, but he’s holding you too tightly.

  Weniger’s going to murder me, you think.

  Finally the man spins you around.

  Uh-oh. It’s not Mr. Weniger. It’s the movie theater manager!

  “I saw you sneaking in the exit,” he whispers angrily. “Now I’m going to call your parents!”

  “No, please,” you plead. “We were just …”

  Gabe interrupts. “Look! There he is!”

  Gabe is pointing to a man sitting in the middle row. In the dark theater, you can’t tell if it’s Weniger.

  But you can see the four-legged customer beside him.

  It’s Fifi, your dog!

  Turn to PAGE 25.

  “No!” you snap at your mom. You pull away, so she can’t look in your mouth. You don’t want her to see the fangs. “I mean, uh, it’s not my throat or anything,” you explain. “It’s my stomach. I think I’m going to throw up.”

  “Oh, dear,” your mom says, backing away.

  Your mom is kind of squeamish about throwing up.

  “In fact …” you groan. Leaping out of bed, you run to the bathroom and slam the door. You quietly fill a glass with water.

  Then, really loudly, you make the sound of throwing up.

  At the same time, you pour the whole glass of water down the toilet.

  It sounds just like the real thing!

  Wipe your mouth and then turn to PAGE 19.

  While the vampires lick blood from Countess Yvonne, you dart away. Toward the back of the room.

  Then you spot something. A big wooden door, locked with an ancient iron lock. An old key is in the door.

  It looks like a prison cell. You turn the key and open the door.

  Gabe is chained by his hands and feet to the back wall!

  “Gabe!” you cry softly.

  He stares at you coldly.

  “Are you okay?” you ask him.

  In answer, he shows you his neck.

  “Oh, no!” you cry. There, freshly pierced, are two little holes. Two tiny marks that can mean only one thing.

  He’s been bitten by a vampire!

  Turn to PAGE 51.

  “I don’t like that look on your face,” Gabe says, backing away from you. “What are you going to do?”

  You give Gabe a sly smile. “I’m just going to have a little fun — as a vampire.”

  “Are you nuts?” Gabe sputters. “You can’t do that! You can’t go around biting people and drinking their blood!”

  “Don’t worry,” you tell Gabe. “I won’t bite you. But how about people we hate? Like Robbie Morgan? Or Mrs. Winesap?”

  Mrs. Winesap lives down the block. She kept your Frisbee once when it landed in her flower garden.

  Gabe laughs a sort of sick, weak laugh. “That old bat?” he says. “She is pretty mean, but …”

  “Leave it to me,” you tell Gabe. “But right now, I’ve got to get some sleep.”

  You glance around your room for a comfortable place to sleep. You finally spot one and climb into position — hanging upside down from a chin-up bar in your doorway. With your arms folded across your chest like a bat!

  Turn to PAGE 14.

  “It’s missing!” you cry in horror.

  “Yeah, but look,” Gabe whispers. “There’s a loose torn page tucked in the back of the book.”

  The match you’re holding is burning your fingers.

  G
abe yanks out the missing page. It’s the one you need! You read:

  FOR FOUR HOURS AND A DAY

  DRINK GARLIC AND WATER

  NO MORE

  AND EAT NOTHING.

  Then the match goes out.

  “Hmm. So this says not to drink garlic and water,” Gabe remarks.

  “No,” you argue. “It says drink garlic and water, no more. That means drink nothing but garlic and water.”

  “That’s nuts,” Gabe retorts. “But it won’t matter — unless we can get out of here.”

  The cell door swings open. And your heart sinks.

  Turn to PAGE 4.

  You tear down the dark, quiet street. You can hear your dad chasing you. But you’re fast. And he’s out of shape. You soon leave him far behind.

  You hurry to Gabe’s house and throw pebbles at his bedroom window to get his attention.

  “Gabe!” you whisper loudly, throwing more pebbles.

  CRASH.

  Oops. That was a rock, not a pebble.

  Turn to PAGE 43.

  Fifi slurps up the red liquid in the packet.

  “No, Fifi!” you scold, trying to take it away.

  “GRRRRR!”

  She growls at you angrily, her eyes gleaming.

  “Uh-oh,” Gabe says. “What’s she doing that for?”

  “I don’t know,” you answer, worried. Fifi has never growled at you in her life.

  “GRRRRRRR!”

  When the packet is empty, Fifi drops it to the floor. Then she barks and runs to the kitchen door. She jumps against the door with her front paws, clawing and digging.

  “I think she wants out,” Gabe whispers.

  “Too bad,” you say. “She can’t go out if she’s going to act like this.”