Beware of the Purple Peanut Butter Read online

  It wasn’t after you after all! You glance around at this new part of the dump. Just beyond the lizard, leaning against a large boulder, is a big white refrigerator with no door. It looks just like the one your aunt had in the basement!

  You race over to the refrigerator. Is this the right one? Is the purple-peanut-butter jar still inside?

  You’re much too little to see what’s on the shelves. You’ll have to climb in to find out. But how?

  You search through the garbage surrounding you and find an old piece of kite string. To you, the string is as thick as a rope. It gives you an idea. You discover a rusty safety pin. You tie the string to the safety pin.

  Then you twirl the pin over your head. Just like the rock climbers use, you think. When the pin is spinning really fast, you throw it up toward the refrigerator shelves.

  Did it catch?

  Find out on PAGE 133.

  You get an idea. An excellent idea. In Alice in Wonderland, some foods Alice ate made her grow big, other foods made her small. Could the peanut butter and the chocolate cake work the same way? Maybe that’s why they were together in the refrigerator in the first place!

  Besides, you’ve got nothing to lose.

  You look inside the box. It’s empty, except for one chocolate crumb and a tiny smear of icing.

  You’re not very big. Maybe it will be enough.

  But which will you eat? The crumb or the icing?

  Try the crumb on PAGE 97.

  Or taste the icing on PAGE 107.

  You run to the bathroom. The mirror is even higher than it was last night. You have to stand on a stool to peer into it.

  It’s true. You look the same, but you’re definitely smaller. Getting dressed, you notice that none of your clean clothes fit. They’re all much too big — except the jeans and T-shirt you wore yesterday. They’re smaller, too. Whatever made you shrink also made them shrink. But what was it?

  “Yesterday. Yesterday,” you mutter. You pace around the room trying to remember everything you did in the last twenty-four hours. You’re so freaked out, it’s hard to concentrate.

  “Okay,” you say to yourself, trying to calm down. “I’ve been on airplanes before, and I’ve never shrunk. I’ve had my aunt’s cooking before, so it’s not what I ate for dinner….”

  Suddenly, you snap your fingers!

  You’ve figured it out! The purple peanut butter! You’ve never had anything like that before. In fact, you’re not even sure what that purple goop was.

  You better find out — and fast!

  You race downstairs and straight to the basement. But when you yank open the basement door, your heart stops!

  Go to PAGE 100.

  You sprint out of Dr. Abbott’s reach. “Please don’t hurt me,” you beg. “I need your help.”

  “How can I hurt you?” he replies angrily. “You don’t exist.”

  “What do you mean?” you demand.

  “I’ve been working too hard,” Dr. Abbott mutters. “I’m starting to see things.” He sits up and unties his laces, then reties his shoes. He rubs his eyes.

  “I’m a real kid,” you insist. “You’re not imagining me. I’m really here.”

  He eyes you suspiciously. You try to look as real as possible. “I know!” you cry. “Ask my Aunt Fiona. She works right here at the university.”

  “You have references?” the scientist asks incredulously.

  “Please! You have to believe me.” Quickly, you explain what’s happened to you. “I think it was the purple peanut butter I ate,” you finish. “But whatever it was, I keep on shrinking. If you can’t help me, I’m afraid I’ll get so small I’ll disappear.”

  Dr. Abbott stares at you in silence. Then, suddenly, his mouth turns up in a big smile. “Kid,” he says, “you’ve come to the right place!”

  Turn to PAGE 86.

  A Popsicle stick floats right up to you.

  You climb onto it. At least you don’t have to tread water anymore.

  But how will you get out of the sewer system?

  You notice a toothpick floating by. You reach out and grab it. Using it as an oar, you begin to paddle your Popsicle-stick boat swiftly through the current.

  After a few smelly minutes, you hear splashing ahead. The splashing sound grows into a roar. You glance up to see white water. The current is rushing into a waterfall!

  Off to one side is a swirling pool. It looks safer than the waterfall. But the pool is swarming with large brown insects.

  What a disgusting choice!

  You might as well leave it to chance. Flip a coin three times. If it comes up heads or tails three times in a row, steer your Popsicle stick to PAGE 77.

  If the coin comes up two heads and one tail, or two tails and one head, move on to PAGE 37.

  You decide to just head straight home. It’s been a long day. You don’t need anything else exciting to happen to you!

  On your way home, you pass by a pay phone.

  CLANK! CHINK! CLINK! CLACK!

  You find yourself covered in coins.

  By the time you’ve reached your uncle’s house, seventy-three dollars in change is stuck all over your body.

  The extra money could come in handy, you think. If anyone asks where you got it, you’ll say you just found some extra change in your pockets … in your shirt … in your socks … on your elbow … on your knees …

  THE END

  It’s a circus!

  There will be people of all sizes at the circus, you figure. And the big top is large enough to cover you, and there are several smaller tents besides. You’re sure you could fit inside any one of them.

  You leave the highway and start running through a field. You frighten several horses and half a herd of cattle, but then you safely reach the circus grounds.

  But you are still being hunted.

  The police cars and helicopters aren’t far behind. Quick! Which tent will you enter?

  The big top? Turn to PAGE 38.

  Or enter the sideshow tents on PAGE 130.

  The lizard slithers out of the refrigerator. It’s already as big as a Great Dane. It starts to follow you.

  Terrified, you start to run. But it steps in front of you.

  “Back!” you tell it. “Get back!”

  You search frantically for something to use as a weapon. Just as you reach out to grab a rusty car door, the lizard stretches its head toward you. Its long tongue darts out.

  But instead of trying to chomp you, it licks your hand. It wags its long, skinny tail. It isn’t going to eat you. It likes you!

  The lizard follows you all the way home. It’s very friendly. You discover it really likes to play “fetch.” You can’t help noticing, though, that every time it comes back with the stick you’ve thrown, it has grown a little bigger.

  By the time you reach your aunt and uncle’s house, the lizard is the size of an elephant.

  “Hey, wimp!” Barney calls from the porch. “Where have you been?” Suddenly, his eyes widen and his mouth drops open. He’s just noticed your new pet dinosaur.

  The lizard hisses at your cousin. You pat its scaly back. “Easy, boy,” you say soothingly.

  “Wha-what’s that?” Barney stammers.

  You smile at him sweetly. “Barney, meet my new bodyguard.”

  THE END

  You gaze at the tigers. They gaze back at you. They look just like overgrown pussycats.

  You reach down and scratch one of the tigers behind the ears. It arches its back and rubs against you, purring. The other four tigers jump off the platform and run up to you. All they want is to have someone treat them nicely.

  “What are you doing?” Tombo screams. “You’re ruining my tigers!”

  You ignore him. You sit down on the dirt floor. The tigers all crawl into your lap. You pet them. They lick your hands and face. The crowd loves it. They cheer even louder than they did for Tombo.

  “You see, Tombo?” you say cheerfully. “You should be kinder to your tigers.”
/>   You’re having a great time. You’re even going to get paid. What a life!

  In fact, everything is purr-fect until your hands and feet start to feel warm. The feeling moves up your arms and legs. Soon your whole body feels as if it’s on fire.

  What’s going on? you wonder.

  You’re not on fire — you’re shrinking! What a time to grow small again!

  Just when you have five tigers on your lap!

  THE END

  How can I make that jump? you wonder.

  You gaze around desperately. And then you spot something that might help. A pencil. It’s twice as tall as you are — just the right size for a vaulting pole.

  You’ve never vaulted before. But you’ve seen athletes do it on television. You grasp the pencil, point side up. Then you take off running toward the edge of the table.

  Please let this work, you pray. Just before you reach the edge, you jam the eraser end of the pencil down on the table. Then you leap.

  You sail through the air. You don’t look down.

  Hooray! You land on the other table! A moment later Dr. Abbott scrambles up beside you.

  “The remote’s over there,” you tell him, pointing. The remote is balanced across the top of an open glass jar.

  The two of you make your way across the table. Dr. Abbott is a very messy worker. The table is covered with junk. You have to detour around dirty coffee cups. You scoot around piles of books. You’ve almost reached the jar when you trip over a big paper clip.

  At last you reach the glass jar. The remote sits on top of it, way beyond your reach. Was it all for nothing?

  Turn to PAGE 92.

  Somehow, you have to get to the dump and find the refrigerator. It’s your only hope. But how will you do it? It would take you weeks to walk. And you can’t call a taxi — even if you could reach the phone, you’re too small to dial.

  There’s only one answer. Somehow you must get help from your dear, disgusting cousins.

  You head for the living room. Dora and Barney are sprawled on the floor, watching television.

  “Dora! Barney!” you yell as loud as you can.

  But it’s no use. Your voice is too feeble to be heard.

  You approach Dora and tug on her shoe. She doesn’t even notice. She yawns and gets up. “This is boring,” she announces. You’re still holding on to her shoelace when she begins walking. You grab on tighter to keep from getting squashed.

  She stops in the bathroom, and stands in front of the mirror. You glance up to see her reach into the medicine cabinet. She pulls out a small box.

  You get an idea.

  Turn to PAGE 122.

  You roll yourself into a ball and brace for a hard landing. But you’re so small now, and so light, that you float like a feather.

  The next thing you know, you’re standing in a dense jungle of grass. You notice disgusting smells — rotting food, moldy furniture, mildew, and decay. But you don’t care. Somewhere out there is the refrigerator with the solution to your problem.

  All you have to do is find it.

  You begin trudging through the tall, tall grass. You reach the top of a hill. On one side of the hill is a gigantic pile of twisted metal forms. They appear in all different colors: blue, red, green, yellow. Many of them are covered with rust.

  On the other side of the hill is a thick jungle of vines and weeds. You can’t see what might be dumped among them.

  You’re trying to decide which way to go when you hear a strange, loud noise. It sounds like a HISSSSS!

  You glance around, then gasp in shock.

  Approaching you through the grass is … a dinosaur!

  Rush to PAGE 128.

  You head for the jungle of weeds. The lizard runs after you.

  It’s hard to move quickly through the thick, tall grass, but you’re desperate. You pass piles of garbage, broken appliances, rotting mounds of black ooze. You detour around slimy pools bubbling with the scent of rotting food.

  Then your feet slip out from under you on a pile of slick, yellow mold. You tumble down a slope, unable to break your fall. You stop rolling at the bottom of the hill. You glance up to find the lizard staring down at you. It opens its mouth wide. Its mouth is so big you know it could swallow you in one bite.

  Then it flicks its tongue out, straight toward you.

  You close your eyes.

  Are you about to be lizard lunch?

  Find out on PAGE 48.

  Arnold’s could be just what you need. You are getting too big, and your clothes do seem to be shrinking. You ask the bus driver for directions.

  A few minutes later you find yourself in front of a sleek low building. ARNOLD’S REDUCING SPA is spelled out in neon.

  Hmmmm, you think, not exactly what you had in mind. But you might as well give it a shot. Especially since you realize that you’ve grown another six inches on the way over.

  You wonder why you don’t feel anything — no tingling, no aching, no dizziness — when you grow. You have no way of knowing when it’s happening. You hurry through the glass doors. A muscular blond man approaches you. “Hello,” he greets you. “I’m Arnold. What can we do for you?”

  “I’m getting too big,” you explain. “Can you help?”

  Arnold flexes a muscle and then beams. “Of course we can help,” he tells you. “At Arnold’s we pride ourselves on returning our customers to their original sizes. And we are offering a free one-day trial membership.”

  This sounds promising.

  “You might try the steam room. Many members have found it helped them lose weight,” Arnold suggests. “Or our new reducing machine. We haven’t tried it yet — you could be the first.”

  Try the new reducing machine on PAGE 33.

  Or go to the steam room on PAGE 105.

  “What do you mean?” you ask.

  “It was a special cake I made for a client who was too short. But another customer picked it up by mistake. When I called her, I found out she had moved.”

  Now you know how the cake ended up in your uncle’s basement. “Well, it worked,” you tell her sadly. “It worked too well.”

  Effy looks you up and down and then nods. “I must have put too much growth spice in it,” she tells you.

  “Is there any way you can reverse it? Can you bake a cake that will make me small again?” you ask.

  Effy thinks, frowning. “I’ll try,” she agrees. “But it’ll have to be a huge cake. You’ll have to help me.”

  Gladly, you agree to help. First, Effy leads you to a huge Dumpster behind her bakery. “Here’s where I get rid of my mistakes,” she tells you. The Dumpster is full of moldy, strange-shaped cakes.

  After you clean out the Dumpster, Effy brings fifty bags of flour and spices. You empty them into the Dumpster. She climbs on a ladder and breaks a hundred eggs into the flour. Then she adds seven gallons of water from a garden hose.

  “And now,” she says, “for the shrinking powder….”

  Turn to PAGE 21.

  With a whine, the magnetron stops vibrating. You try to sit up. Then you notice that the gigantic metal tube has shrunk.

  Suddenly, it fits snugly all around your body!

  “Congratulations,” Dr. Abbott tells you. “It worked!”

  Now you realize that the tube didn’t shrink — you grew! You’re back to your regular size!

  You’re also stuck in the tube. Dr. Abbott fiddles with some controls on the magnetron. The two sides of the tube pop apart so you can climb out. But you notice something odd.

  “My skin is sticking to the metal,” you tell the scientist.

  Dr. Abbott frowns. “Don’t worry about it,” he says. “That’s just a side effect of the treatment.”

  You thank the scientist for his help. Dr. Abbott smiles and walks you to the front of the physics building. “We’ll be in touch,” he tells you. “I’ll need to write this up for the scientific community.” As you’re about to step outside, he stops you.

  “My keys!” he excla
ims. “You’re walking off with my keys.”

  You glance down and notice a ring of keys plastered to your jeans. You pluck them off and hand them to him.

  Strange, you think. But what happens next is even stranger.

  Go to PAGE 66.

  The growling turns to a nasty snarl. You feel a stinging on your ankle. You glance down to see the neighbor’s dog, a rottweiler, attacking you. You’re so huge it’s like being attacked by a cricket.

  You ignore the dog. You find more pieces of the roof and try to place them on the house.

  There are still pieces missing, but it doesn’t look so bad now. You dust your hands off and stand up. But now you hear a new sound behind you.

  You turn around to see dozens of people approaching. They’re holding golf clubs, kitchen knives, brooms, and shovels. They look frightened but determined.

  Not good.

  “Hi,” you say, trying to sound friendly. “I’m sorry I wrecked your roof. It’s almost as good as new now.”

  The man whose roof you damaged shakes his fist at you. He holds a garbage-can lid like a shield. “This is the alien!” he yells to the others, pointing at you. “That’s the alien that destroyed my house!”

  The others shriek and shake their weapons at you. “Get out of here, alien!” they shout. “Get out and don’t come back!”

  Maybe that’s not such a bad idea. You’re not sure where to go. But you’re definitely not welcome here.

  Escape on PAGE 106.

  Then Dora’s smile twists into a horrible grimace.

  “Alien!” she shrieks. “The mutant alien!” The people in the front rows scream. They climb over their seats to get away from you.

  “Dora, I’m your cousin!” you shout. You try to wriggle out of the powerful grasp of the elephant’s trunk. But Dodo’s clutching you too tightly.