17 - Why I'm Afraid of Bees Read online

  By the time Ms. Karmen arrived, I was a wreck. When the doorbell rang, my hand was sweating so much, I could barely turn the doorknob to let her in.

  “Let’s go in the kitchen,” Ms. Karmen suggested. “I like to set up my equipment on a table.” She opened a small case and took out some black boxes with monitors on them.

  I showed her the way to the kitchen. “So who’s this kid who wants to switch places with me?” I asked.

  “His name is Dirk Davis.”

  Dirk Davis! I thought excitedly. Even his name sounded cool. “What does he look like?”

  Ms. Karmen opened up a white photo album. “Here’s his picture,” she said, passing it to me.

  I looked down at a picture of a tall, athletic-looking blond boy in black Lycra bike shorts and a blue muscle shirt. I blinked in surprise.

  “He looks like a surfer or something!” I cried. “Why in the world does he want to switch bodies with me? Is this some kind of trick?”

  Ms. Karmen smiled. “Well, to be honest, it’s not exactly your body he’s interested in, Gary. He wants your mind. You see, Dirk needs someone who is good in math. He has some very hard math tests coming up in summer school. He wants you to take them for him.”

  “Oh,” I said. I felt relieved. “Well, I usually do pretty well on math tests.”

  “We know that, Gary. Person-to-Person does its homework. You’re very good at math. Dirk’s good at skateboarding.”

  I sat down at the table.

  Bzzzzzz.

  A bee buzzed right under my nose. “Hey!” I yelled, jumping back up. “How’d that bee get in here?”

  Ms. Karmen glanced up from her equipment. “Your back door is open just a bit. Now please sit down and try to relax. I need to fasten this strap around your wrist.”

  With a nervous glance at the back door, I sat back down. Ms. Karmen strapped a black band around my wrist. Then she started fiddling with some wires attached to one of her machines.

  Bzzzzzz.

  Another bee flew in front of me, and I wiggled around in my chair.

  “Please sit still, Gary. Otherwise the equipment won’t work.”

  “Who can sit still with all these bees buzzing around in here?” I asked. I lowered my eyes and saw three fat bees walking across the table.

  Bzzzzzz.

  Another bee flew past my right eye.

  “What’s up with these bees?” I was starting to panic.

  “Don’t pay any attention to them,” Ms. Karmen said, “and they won’t bother you.” She made one more adjustment to her machine. “Besides, Dirk Davis isn’t afraid of bees. And, as soon as I flip this switch, you won’t be, either!”

  “But…!”

  ZZAAAAPPPP!

  A blinding white light flashed in front of my eyes.

  I tried to cry out.

  But my breath caught in my throat.

  The light grew brighter, brighter.

  And then I sank into a deep pool of blackness.

  8

  Something was wrong.

  Colors returned. But they were a total blur.

  I struggled to make everything come clear. But I couldn’t seem to focus on anything.

  My new body didn’t feel right, either. I was lying on my back, and I felt light as a feather, light enough to float away.

  Could this be Dirk Davis’ tall, muscular body? It certainly didn’t feel like it!

  Was this some kind of trick? I asked myself. Was the picture of Dirk Davis a phony? Was he really a lot smaller than he looked in the photo album?

  I reached out one of my hands and tried to touch my stomach. But my hand felt really weird, too. It was small, and my arm seemed to be bending in several places at once!

  What’s going on? I wondered, trembling with fright.

  Why do I feel so weird?

  “Whooooa!” I cried out as I finally managed to touch my body. “Yuck.” My skin was soft. And it was covered with a fine layer of fuzz.

  “Help! Ms. Karmen! Help! Something’s wrong!” I tried to shout.

  But there was something wrong with my voice. It came out all tiny and squeaky. Little mouse squeaks.

  I rolled over onto my stomach and tried to get up. I spread my arms to balance myself.

  I gasped as I realized my feet weren’t even touching the ground!

  I was flying!

  “What’s happening to me?” I cried in my squeaky little voice. I floated forward and crashed into a kitchen cupboard.

  “Ow! Help me!”

  I moved my strange new arms and realized I had some control over which way I flew. I felt some weird muscles in my back going into action. Testing my new muscles, I flew over to the kitchen window.

  Exhausted, I landed on the sill. I turned my head to one side. Then I gasped in fright.

  A hideous monster was reflected in the window glass!

  The creature had two huge glaring eyes. And it was staring right at me.

  I tried to scream. But I was too terrified to utter a sound.

  I—I have to get away! I decided.

  I moved my feet and started to run. The monster in the glass ran, too.

  I stopped and stared at the window glass. The monster stopped and stared back at me.

  “Oh, no! Please—no!” I cried. “Please don’t let it be true!” I reached up and tried to cover my eyes. The creature in the window did the same thing.

  And suddenly I knew the hideous truth. The monster in the mirror—it was me.

  Ms. Karmen had messed up. Totally.

  And now I was trapped inside the body of a bee!

  9

  I don’t know how long I stood there.

  I couldn’t stop staring at my reflection.

  I kept waiting to come out of this nightmare. I kept waiting to blink my eyes and find myself in Dirk Davis’ big, muscular body.

  But I didn’t look at all like Dirk Davis.

  I had two giant eyes—one on either side of my head—and two skinny little antennas sticking out of my forehead.

  My mouth was truly disgusting. I had some kind of long tongue, which I soon discovered I could move all around and make longer and shorter if I wanted. Which I didn’t.

  My body was covered with thick, black hair. I had three legs on either side of my body. And let’s not forget the wings sticking out of my shoulders!

  “This is the pits!” I cried. “I’m a bug! I’m a disgusting, hairy bug! Ms. Karmen—something went wrong! Help me!”

  Creeeeak.

  Slam!

  What was that?

  Oh, no! I realized that Ms. Karmen had just gone out the kitchen door.

  “No—wait! Wait!” I squeaked. She was my only hope!

  I had to catch her. I had to tell her what had happened!

  “Ms. Karmen!” I squeaked. “Ms. Karmen!”

  Frantically, I flew out of the kitchen into the living room. Out the window, I could see her car still parked out in front of the house.

  But the front door to the outside was shut. And bees can’t open doors. I was trapped inside my own house!

  The back door! I remembered. Ms. Karmen had said it was open just a bit.

  Yes! That was how all those bees got into the house in the first place!

  I fluttered my new wings and flew back into the kitchen. As I soared, I realized I was getting more and more control over my flight pattern.

  But I didn’t care about that right now. All I knew was that I had to get to Ms. Karmen before she drove away.

  I darted out the tiny opening in the back door. “Ms. Karmen!” I shouted as I flew around the side of the house. “Ms. Karmen! Help me! You messed up! I’m a bee! Help me!”

  My voice was so tiny, she couldn’t hear me. She opened her car door and started to climb behind the wheel. My only chance for a normal life was about to drive away!

  What could I do? How could I get her attention?

  Thinking quickly, I flew right toward her head. “Ms. Karmen!” I shouted in her ear. “It
’s me. Gary!”

  Ms. Karmen uttered a startled cry. Then she drew back her hand and swatted me. Hard.

  “Ow!” My entire body vibrated with pain. The force of her swat sent me falling to the street. I hit the pavement with a painful splat.

  I shook my head, trying to clear my eyes. That’s when I realized I had an extra set of tiny eyes arranged in a kind of triangle on the top of my head. I used them to gaze straight up.

  And then I screamed in terror.

  I saw the tire rolling toward me.

  Ms. Karmen was about to drive right over me. I was about to be squashed like the bug that I was!

  10

  “Oh!” I froze in panic.

  Even with my blurred bee vision, I could see the deep treads in the tire as it rolled steadily toward me.

  Closer. Closer.

  I have to move! I told myself.

  Fly away! Fly away!

  But in my panic, I forgot how to use my new muscles.

  I—I’m going to be squashed! I realized.

  I uttered a final, weak cry.

  And the car stopped.

  “Huh?” My entire body was trembling. But somehow I managed to pull myself up. Up into the air.

  Yes. I was flying now.

  I could see Ms. Karmen inside the car. She was fastening her seat belt. She had stopped the car to put on her seat belt!

  “Hey, seat belts really do save lives!” I told myself.

  I called out to her. But of course she couldn’t hear me. I watched the car roll away until it was a blur of color.

  Then, exhausted and terrified, I buzzed over to a nearby lilac bush and dropped onto a leaf. “That was too close!” I told myself, in between gasps for air. “I’m going to get killed out here!”

  A green caterpillar inched its way up onto a nearby stem and started chewing noisily on the leaf I was resting on. I’d never really examined a caterpillar before. Up close, they’re real ugly. They look a little bit like dragons. Only scarier.

  “Keep away from me!” I yelled in my tiny voice. The caterpillar didn’t even turn its head. Maybe it didn’t hear me.

  I forgot all about the caterpillar when I heard footsteps coming up the front walk. I turned my head and used my sideways eye to see who it was.

  “Mom!” I screamed. “Mom! Over here!”

  She couldn’t hear me. She hurried up the steps and into the house.

  Suddenly, I was overcome by a wave of sadness. My own mother didn’t recognize me!

  Desperately, I fluttered my wings and flew away from the leaf. I made my way to the front of the house, and started buzzing around the front windows.

  I had my wings under complete control by now. But the scene I saw inside the house was enough to make me fall down onto the ground again.

  My mother stood in the living room talking to me! Or at least, that’s what she thought. Only I knew it couldn’t be me. I was stuck outside. But who was in there with my mom? Had Dirk Davis managed to get inside my body?

  I landed on the ledge and stared into the house. My mom was talking. The boy was nodding and laughing. He said something to her. If I stared closely, I could read his lips.

  “Hey, did you buy taco chips? I’m really starving, Mom.”

  That had to be Dirk talking inside my body.

  My mom smiled at him and patted him on the arm. I read his lips and saw that he was calling her “Mom” again. How could he do that? How could he call my mother “Mom”?

  If bees could cry—which I now know they can’t—I would have started bawling right then and there. Who did that boy think he was? For that matter, what kind of mom did I have, who couldn’t even tell that a total stranger was living inside her son’s body?

  As I watched “myself” and my mom chatting in the living room, I totally lost it. Like a crazed maniac, I started bashing my insect body into the window.

  “Buzz!” I cried. “Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! It’s me, Gary. Look out here! Help me!”

  Again and again, I smashed myself up against the glass. But no one inside the house noticed.

  After a few minutes, Mom brought the new me a bag of taco chips. I watched “Gary” rip the bag open and take out a handful of chips. Crumbs fell on the living room carpet as he crunched the spicy chips.

  I realized I was starving.

  But what do bees eat? I asked myself. Desperately, I tried to remember everything I’d ever read about the creatures.

  I thought of the hungry caterpillar, crunching away on the leaf. But I was almost positive bees didn’t eat leaves.

  But what did they eat? Other bugs? Ugh! The thought made me shudder. I’d die before I’d eat a bug!

  I buzzed around the yard, hoping to see something—anything—I could use for food. As I flew, I found that I was getting used to my strange new vision and learning how to work my different sets of eyes.

  I remembered something I’d once read in an old picture book called The Big Book of Bees. It said that bee eyes each have thousands of tiny lenses crowded together. But, because they don’t have pupils, they can’t really focus their eyes.

  Interesting, I thought. But not very helpful. If I could remember about bees’ eyesight, why couldn’t I remember what they ate?

  I settled onto another bush to think. And suddenly, I became aware of a wonderful odor nearby. I turned my head and saw a beautiful yellow flower.

  Then I remembered something else I’d read. “Pollen,” I said out loud. “Bees eat pollen. And they get it from flowers!”

  Excitedly, I flew up into the air and started hovering over the yellow blossom. I tried to open my mouth—before I remembered I didn’t have that kind of mouth anymore!

  Instead, I had my long, weird tongue. But how was I supposed to use it to get the stuff out of the flower?

  I didn’t have a clue!

  As I hummed around in the air, I realized I was becoming more and more exhausted. If I didn’t get something to eat soon, I was going to faint.

  I started to feel dizzy. I hardly knew where I was.

  I became more and more confused. My brain got so fuzzy, I even began to wonder if I’d ever actually been a boy at all. Maybe I’d really been a bee for my entire life, and I’d just dreamed about being a boy.

  Slam!

  Somebody closed a car door nearby, and I was startled out of my mental fog. I swiveled my head to look.

  Dad!

  He was closing the garage door. Now he was walking across the driveway and heading toward the back door of the house.

  “Dad!” I screamed. “Dad. It’s me. Gary! Help me!”

  “Hi, Gary,” Dad said.

  11

  “Dad! You can hear me!” I cried joyfully. “Dad—you’ve got to help me!”

  My heart sank when Dad walked right past me and started talking to the fake Gary.

  Desperately, I started buzzing round and round their heads.

  “Looks like Andretti’s lost one of his workers,” my dad laughed. He swatted at me with his rolled-up newspaper.

  A near miss. I darted away.

  “Uh, right,” the fake Gary laughed, pretending he knew what Dad was talking about. “Andretti.”

  “Let’s help get dinner on,” my dad said. He put a friendly hand on my former shoulder. “Okay, son?”

  “Sure thing, Dad.”

  Like best pals, my dad and his phony son crossed the lawn and opened the screen door.

  “Wait!” I shouted. “Wait!”

  Like a space rocket, I shot through the air after them. If I really put the speed on, I thought I could make it through the door before it closed. Fast, faster, and…

  BLAM!

  The screen door banged shut, right on top of my tiny bee body. Once again, I sank into a deep pool of blackness.

  “Ohhhhhh. Where am I? What happened? Am I still a bee?”

  Dazed, I fought my way back to the real world. When I was able to get my eyes open, I realized I was still a bee—a small, frail, slightly damaged bee—who’
d just narrowly missed being scrunched by a screen door.

  Now I was lying on my back on the grass in our yard. My six legs were thrashing the air.

  “I was a klutz as a human—and I’m a klutz as a bee!” I wailed. I tried to flip myself over. “I’ve only been a bee for an hour, and I’ve almost been killed. Twice!”

  I suddenly knew what I had to do. I had to get to Ms. Karmen’s office and tell her what had happened.

  I didn’t know if I could do it. But I knew I had to try.

  I let out a small grunt, and with a huge effort, flipped over onto my stomach. Using all five of my eyes, I checked myself out. Both sets of wings seemed to be working. And all my six legs were still there.

  “Okay,” I told myself. “You can do it. Just fly to the Person-to-Person office and go inside.”

  I flapped my wings and started to take off into the air. But I’d only risen about an inch up off the ground when I heard a sound that made my blood run cold.

  It was Claus the cat. With his long, sharp claws extended, he leaped through the air.

  I let out a squeal as he pounced on me, grabbed me in one paw, and began to tighten his claws around my body.

  12

  As the cat’s claws closed around me, I saw his hideous mouth gape open.

  Sting him! Sting him!

  The thought burned into my mind.

  But something held me back. Something told me not to use my stinger.

  I suddenly remembered something else I’d read in The Big Book of Bees. Honeybees die once they use their stingers!

  No way! I thought.

  I was still hoping to come out of this alive. And back in my old body.

  So, if using my stinger was out, I’d have to use my wits instead.

  With a loud gnashing of his teeth, Claus snapped his huge mouth shut. He lowered his head, preparing to snap up his furry prize—me.

  At just the right moment, I burst out of his claws and ducked out from under his gnashing teeth.

  I tried to shoot off through the air. But the cat whipped out his paw and batted me down.