Please Don't Feed the Vampire! Read online

  Meanwhile, he roars off.

  “Come on!” you yell. “Let’s follow that lunatic!”

  You and Gabe run after the car as fast as you can. Luckily, Weniger hits a red light, so you catch up.

  Then he loses you again. He turns the corner and zooms down the road to a small shopping center. There are six stores on one end, a movie theater in the middle, and some offices on the other end.

  You spot Weniger’s car in the parking lot — but he and the dog crate are gone.

  You scan the stores, trying to guess where he went.

  “He could be anywhere,” Gabe moans.

  You point. “Look — there’s a pet store on the end. I bet he went in there.”

  “Maybe,” Gabe says. “But what about the movies? They’re showing Dracula’s Bloodiest Revenge.”

  If you think he went into the pet store, turn to PAGE 109.

  If you think he went into the movie, turn to PAGE 59.

  “Forget the phone!” you shout. “We’ve got to catch Fifi. Come on!”

  You dash out the kitchen door and down the steps, chasing your crazy dog. But Gabe doesn’t follow.

  “I’ve got to answer the phone!” Gabe calls after you. “It might be my mom. She said she’d call.”

  “Okay,” you shout. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  Fifi is already way ahead of you. You see her about five houses away, darting into a neighbor’s yard.

  When you get to the yard, you stop. And stare, amazed at what’s lying on the grass.

  “Buttermilk?” you call softly. It’s the big golden retriever that belongs to the Berklines!

  The fuzzy yellow dog is on his side. Motionless. But that’s not what scares you.

  What scares you are the two little bite marks on his neck — streaked with blood!

  Turn to PAGE 102.

  Slinking through your neighborhood, you glance nervously at the cars that pass by.

  You feel paranoid. Can people tell you’re vampires?

  “Don’t act so suspiciously,” Mr. Reuterly advises you. “That’s my first tip. See? I told you you needed my help.”

  Don’t act suspiciously? you think. Well, duhhh!

  “And never smile at anyone — unless you plan to bite them,” he goes on. “People feel uneasy when they see fangs.”

  Oh, brother! You roll your eyes. More hot news! A minute later, you arrive at Robbie Morgan’s house. “This is it,” you tell Reuterly. “What should I do?”

  “Nothing,” he answers. He glances at the house, then the garage. “Lights on in the house. But no cars in the driveway. Perfect! His parents must not be home.”

  Mr. Reuterly goes up to the door and rings the bell. The door opens — and Gabe steps out!

  Before you can warn him, Reuterly grabs Gabe by the shoulders and bites his neck!

  Turn to PAGE 69.

  An upstairs light flips on.

  “Who’s there?” Gabe whispers through a big hole in the window.

  “It’s me!” you whisper back. “Hurry! I need help.”

  A minute later, Gabe comes out the backdoor into his backyard.

  “You’ve got to help me,” you beg him. “I bit my own dad on the neck — I couldn’t help it. I need blood. But my dad put braces on me. I can’t really bite anything.”

  Gabe paces back and forth on his patio. Finally, he comes up with an idea. “Let’s go to Mr. Reuterly’s store, Scary Stuff. We’ll buy some more of those Vampire in a Can things. Then you can drink the packets from all the cans. Maybe that’ll do the trick.”

  “Maybe,” you say. You squint at your watch. “But it’s awfully late. What if the store is closed?”

  “Then we’ll go back in the morning,” Gabe answers.

  “No way,” you reply. “I can’t wait till morning. I need blood now. Got any other ideas?”

  “Yeah,” Gabe says. “How about a piece of raw steak?”

  If you go to Scary Stuff tonight, turn to PAGE 114.

  If you’d rather eat raw steak, turn to PAGE 122.

  “We’ll follow the bats!” you snap.

  With a shudder, you realize you’d rather hang out with bats than with Gabe.

  “Come on,” you command, hurrying to the back of the factory.

  “You seem to know where you’re going,” Gabe says, trying to keep up with you.

  Somehow, you do know. You’re following some kind of inner radar — like a bat. And your radar tells you there’s a door in the back of this place.

  “We’re getting closer to the bats,” you tell Gabe.

  Gabe puffs, “You act like you want to party with those bats or something! Don’t you want to be normal?”

  Normal? What’s normal?

  You start running faster.

  Turn to PAGE 89.

  “I say we go with plan two,” you tell Gabe. “We do research. Maybe we can find a cure that way.”

  “Great!” Gabe declares. “Let’s go look and see if we can find a vampire movie online.”

  But by the time Gabe finds one, you’re feeling weaker — and thirstier — than ever.

  “Hurry,” you whimper. “Put on a movie.”

  Gabe hits play and Dracula’s Excellent Adventure starts.

  Big mistake.

  Right off the bat, Dracula turns into a bat. He flies through a window and bites a woman on the neck. Now you’ve really worked up a thirst!

  “I need blood!” you cry, jumping up and flapping your arms like a big, goofy bat.

  Turn to PAGE 88.

  “Yes!” you shout. There’s a cell phone inside the car! You slide into the front seat.

  Fingers shaking, you dial your home phone number.

  It rings six times. Finally Gabe answers.

  “Listen,” you spit out. “I’m trapped in the garage of the green house down the street. Come help me!”

  “Why are you trapped?” Gabe asks.

  “Because of the vampire dogs!” you cry. “Fifi bit all the dogs in the neighborhood. She turned them into crazed vampires. And now they’ve got me cornered.”

  “And you want me to come risk my life?” Gabe demands. “Later, dude.”

  “Wait!” you plead. “There’s got to be something you can do.”

  “Yeah. I can call the dogcatcher!” Gabe says firmly.

  “No!” you shriek. “I don’t want them to catch Fifi. If they see her fangs, they’ll … they’ll put her to sleep.”

  “Leave it to me,” Gabe orders, hanging up the phone.

  Uh-oh. What is Mr. Know-It-All going to do?

  Turn to PAGE 118.

  “Dog therapy! What a dumb idea!” Gabe mutters.

  “What about those red puncture marks on your neck?” you ask Weniger.

  “Oh, this? I, uh, accidentally stabbed myself with my fork while eating spaghetti,” he explains.

  “Smooth move,” Gabe scoffs.

  “Yes, well — I’ve got to be going. Hope you catch up with your dog,” Weniger mumbles. Then he hurries away across the parking lot.

  You aren’t paying attention. A strange feeling is coming over you. A transformation …

  It’s as if Fifi’s bite turned you into … something inhuman.

  “You look really pale,” Gabe says, sounding worried.

  Yeah, you think. I need to put a little color in my cheeks — the color red!

  You feel the strongest urge to bite someone.

  Don’t bite anyone until you turn to PAGE 86.

  You reach nasty old Mrs. Winesap’s house. You ring her bell. The door opens. “Who’s bothering me at dinnertime?” she demands crossly.

  You open your mouth wide. Time for revenge!

  Then the smell hits you. Mrs. Winesap has been eating garlic bread. Garlic! The downfall of all vampires! The reek makes you dizzy.

  “If you’re here to get your silly Frisbee back, you can forget about it!” Mrs. Winesap snaps. She slams the door in your face.

  You sit on her doorstep, heaving.


  Turn to PAGE 85.

  Drink the red liquid in one of those goblets?

  You think: Rule one: Never take candy from strangers. Rule two: Never take blood from strange vampires.

  But you suspect that the liquid in those goblets will really quench your thirst.

  “All right,” you agree, walking to the table.

  You lift a silver goblet to your lips. You swig it down. But it tastes terrible.

  “Yuck!” you exclaim. “That’s not blood! What is it?”

  “Vampire medicine,” the countess replies. “To keep you well while you’re asleep. Asleep for a hundred years!”

  She leans toward you. “Sleep,” she coos. “Sleep.”

  You stare into her eyes. Oooohh! You feel so heavy. So drowsy….

  The countess is hypnotizing you!

  Your legs wobble. Then you slip to the ground. A vampire carries you to a black coffin. He lays you in it.

  “Sleep, my friend,” he murmurs and reaches for the coffin lid.

  Turn to PAGE 22.

  “No way that’s blood!” you say with a nervous laugh.

  But your heart starts beating a little faster. Could it be? You remember scraping your hand last week and licking the wound. This stuff tastes the same.

  Maybe. But right now you’ve got something else on your mind.

  “I’m thirsty,” you declare, rushing to the kitchen. “I’ve got to get a drink.”

  Gabe follows you, talking a mile a minute.

  “If you didn’t swallow, spit it out,” he orders. “Gargle with mouthwash. Or maybe brush with peroxide toothpaste! Or do both!”

  “Water,” you groan. “I’m so thirsty! I need water.”

  You stick your mouth under the faucet to gulp from the tap. But as the water hits your tongue, you jerk away.

  “Yuck!” you exclaim. “That tastes terrible.”

  “I thought you were thirsty,” Gabe says, eyeing you strangely.

  “I am,” you tell him. “But not for water. For … something else.”

  To find out what for, turn to PAGE 58.

  “I told you it was a trap,” Gabe complains. “Now we’re both vampires. And we’ll never change back.”

  “I don’t believe it,” you tell him. “There must be some way to change back. There’s got to be!”

  Gabe shakes his head. “The vampire who bit me told me there wasn’t,” he says. “But —” He breaks off.

  “But what?” you urge.

  “When he was taking me here, we passed by a sign on the wall that said, ‘Midnight Shift — Keep Away. Danger.’ Under the sign was a shelf full of plastic bottles. The labels on them said, ‘Garlic Spray.’ ”

  “Garlic?” You frown. “In olden days, people wore garlic around their necks to keep vampires away.”

  “I know. Look, could you get me out of these things?” Gabe asks. He nods at the cuffs on his hands and feet.

  You look around for a key. But you hear footsteps.

  You whirl around just as a frail, gray-haired old lady appears at the door.

  “Aha!” she croaks. “So there you are!”

  Turn to PAGE 66.

  “No!” you shout at Mr. Reuterly. “No way! I won’t help you attack my friends. Now let me go!”

  You try to push him away. But he’s too strong.

  “Well, then,” he snarls, “you leave me no choice. Perhaps you’re not as stale and lifeless as the other vampires I know. Perhaps because you’re young….”

  In a flash, he exposes his long, sharp fangs. Then he sinks them into your flesh!

  Turn to PAGE 74.

  You reach out and ring the doorbell.

  “Push it again!” orders Gabe. “Keep ringing until Weniger comes back!”

  You push the bell again. DING-DONG.

  You hear a door slam. An outside door.

  Then footsteps.

  “Hey,” you whisper to Gabe. “I think he’s sneaking out the back.”

  Gabe leaps off the porch, and you follow him. At the back of the house, you peek into the garage.

  Mr. Weniger is loading a dog crate into the trunk of an old station wagon.

  Is Fifi inside?

  “Wait!” you call out, running up to the car. “Mr. Weniger! My dog!”

  Weniger ignores you. He jumps behind the wheel, starts the engine, and backs out — really fast.

  The car zooms right at you!

  Turn to PAGE 40.

  Gabe slams shut the door and rushes over to you.

  You fan your face. It feels as if you got a mega sunburn.

  Finally, the pain goes away.

  “What happened?” Gabe asks.

  “The light,” you answer. “Haven’t you ever seen a Dracula movie? Vampires can’t go outside in daylight.”

  “Not even with sunblock on?” Gabe jokes.

  “Hey, wise guy, you want to be my lunchtime beverage?” you snap.

  “Sorry,” murmurs Gabe. “So now what?”

  “Now we wait,” you reply grimly.

  Luckily, it’s October, so it gets dark early. You and Gabe hike to Scary Stuff, Mr. Reuterly’s store.

  A block from the store, Gabe grabs your arm. “Look!” he shouts. “It’s the Eyeball Man. He’s locking the door!”

  Hurry to PAGE 76.

  “Don’t be stupid,” you tell Gabe. “It’s not Weniger in a dress. I meant, that must be his mother. Mrs. Weniger.”

  You don’t know why they took Fifi. But the Wenigers won’t get away with stealing your dog!

  * * *

  The next day, you and Gabe bike over to the pet store bright and early. The old woman is just opening up.

  You lock up your bikes and hurry through the front door.

  “What the —?” Gabe’s mouth drops open.

  Every single animal is gone.

  Every cage empty.

  The entire pet store is completely cleaned out!

  Turn to PAGE 71.

  “Where was that Garlic Spray?” you shout at Gabe.

  Without answering, he sprints down the hallway. At the end, you spot a staircase that leads up to the warehouse.

  The two of you clamber up the steps. The vampires are in hot pursuit.

  The warehouse is jammed with all kinds of vampire costumes and products. But finally you find the sign on the wall. The one Gabe told you about. MIDNIGHT SHIFT — KEEP AWAY. DANGER.

  Beneath it are plastic bottles of Garlic Spray.

  Desperately, you grab one of the bottles and flick off the cap. You whirl around — just as a balding vampire lunges at you. As he draws near, you realize: You know this vampire!

  Turn to PAGE 35 to see who it is.

  Where is it? Where’s the packet of blood?

  “This one doesn’t have any,” you cry weakly.

  You grab another can and rip the lid off. No packet.

  “Help me look!” you command Gabe.

  But not a single can holds that precious red packet.

  “Gabe,” you whisper softly. “I — I —”

  But those are your last words. A moment later, you sink down onto the crummy black capes that are piled on the floor.

  Since you aren’t dead, your vampire body never decays. For a small fee, your parents let Mr. Reuterly display you in his store window. A sign beside you reads, VAMPIRE WITH BRACES. Reuterly dresses you up in one of the capes from Vampire in a Can.

  You were right. The costume does make you look like a nerd!

  THE END

  You desperately thirst for … that red cranberry juice in the fridge. But when you sip some, you have to spit it out. It tastes lousy.

  “I feel weird,” you moan. “How come the room got so bright? The light is killing my eyes.”

  Before Gabe can answer, you race to your room at the back of the house. You close all the blinds. When Gabe catches up with you, you slam the door and turn off the light. You both stand in darkness.

  “Maybe you’re coming down with the flu,” Gabe suggests, po
pping some bubblegum into his mouth.

  You hope it’s only the flu. But you have a bad feeling….

  You slowly turn and gaze into the mirror.

  “No!” you cry when you see what’s staring back.

  Turn to PAGE 72.

  Hmmm. Why would Weniger take your dog into the movies?

  The answer is easy: Weniger is nuts!

  “Maybe you’re right,” you agree. “Maybe he went into the movies.”

  “Yeah,” Gabe says with a sigh. “Too bad we can’t follow him. I don’t have any money.”

  Neither do you. But you know another way in.

  You lead Gabe around to the back of the shopping center — to the emergency exit door. “They always keep it unlocked in case of fire,” you explain.

  You pull open the door, and the two of you slip into the darkened theater.

  As you scan the seats, you feel two large, heavy hands on your neck. You’re jerked backwards.

  Someone is grabbing you from behind!

  Turn to PAGE 77.

  “Don’t go,” Gabe whispers loudly. “It’s a trap!”

  Carmine squints at you. “Look,” he snaps. “You came here for help. Do you want it or not?”

  “Uh, yeah,” you say. But you whisper to Gabe, “If I’m not back in ten minutes, come looking for me.”

  “Are you nuts?” Gabe whispers back. “If you’re not back in five, I’m calling the police!”

  You nod. Then you follow Carmine through the NO ADMITTANCE door.

  It leads into a long, dark, twisting hallway.

  “Where are we going?” you ask anxiously.

  “That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Carmine says with a cold laugh.

  Uh-oh. I don’t like this, you think.