Secret Agent Grandma Read online

Chuck lets out a low whistle. “Like some kind of alien convention?” he asks.

  “In a way.” Grandma smiles. “They meet every few years on a centrally located planet. This year, they’re coming to Earth.”

  Ginny shudders. “To do what?”

  Grandma leans forward. “That’s what I need you three to find out!”

  Arrive at the alien meeting on PAGE 38.

  “Ginny!” you shout. “Look out!”

  Ginny scrambles over a pile of smashed suitcases. She trips on a broken crate and sprawls on the floor. “Help me!” she shrieks.

  The yellow-eyed thugs stalk closer.

  Chuck crawls along the luggage rack, hurling down the few remaining boxes. The creatures are inches from Ginny.

  You have to help her! You swing your legs over the side of the rack and drop to the floor. “Leave her alone!” you scream.

  The door behind you flies open. The conductor bursts in.

  Great! You might have a chance now.

  “Help us!” you beg the startled conductor. “You’ve got to help us, please!”

  Your heart stops as his head explodes! Right in front of you!

  Scream in terror all the way to PAGE 40.

  You, Sophie, and Andrew run out of the garage.

  “We did it!” Sophie cries. “We actually captured an alien!”

  “We’ll be heroes!” Andrew crows.

  But you can’t join in the celebration. You’ve just thought of something. Something terrifying.

  Sophie and Andrew dance around on the lawn. Then they notice your face.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Andrew demands. “We had a great plan and it worked perfectly. We got the alien!”

  “Yes, we did,” you say slowly. “But there are still all of those.” You point to the rose garden.

  The rose garden filled with purple pulsing eggs.

  “Grandma called the roses her babies!” you explain. “Those must be her alien children. And I think they’re about to hatch!”

  Sophie gasps. “If they hatch, we’ll be totally outnumbered.”

  “Should we call the authorities right now?” you ask them. “Or do we figure out something to do with the eggs?”

  Andrew and Sophie don’t say a word. They just stare at you.

  So it’s up to you.

  Call the authorities on PAGE 49.

  Deal with the eggs on PAGE 115.

  You can’t believe what this creature is saying. Your grandmother — an alien? No way!

  The creature that used to be the conductor squeezes you tighter in its tentacles. Pieces of its human disguise drip down its uniform. “Now that we have the child, perhaps Mithra-Dithra will be more cooperative,” it says.

  “Who’s Mithra-Dithra?” you ask.

  One of the thugs makes a sound you assume is an alien laugh. “Your grandmother has taught you well.”

  “Yes,” the other thug agrees. “But we won’t be fooled. And your grandmother, Mithra-Dithra, will not succeed in her evil plan to rule this solar system.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you yell. “My grandmother’s first name is Susan, not Mithra-Dithra.”

  “You’ve made a mistake!” Ginny protests. “Just because the old lady dresses funny, it doesn’t mean she’s an alien!”

  The three creatures fix their yellow eyes on you. They make that weird laughing noise again.

  “You will answer our questions soon enough. Now we must prepare.”

  Prepare for what?

  Find out what they plan to do with you on PAGE 83.

  You, Ginny, and Chuck arrive at the alien meeting. Grandma has given each of you a disguise. You think your two blue heads look really cool!

  But, unfortunately, this assignment turns out to be totally boring.

  It really is a convention. These aliens get together to vote on galaxy parking rules, real estate taxes, and planetary trade pacts.

  It’s so dull, both of your blue heads fall asleep. The five-armed orange security guard has to throw you out. Your snoring is disturbing the guest speaker.

  Oh, well. Sometimes even aliens turn out to be dull in

  THE END.

  “Let’s get on board,” you say. “We’ll track down a conductor.”

  You, Sophie, and Andrew board the train. You slide open the door and enter the first car.

  And stop.

  A chill of horror runs along your spine. Your fingers tremble with fear.

  “They’re — they’re —” Andrew stammers.

  “Ghosts!” you whisper.

  The train car is filled with shimmering figures, each more horrifying than the last. Heads float by without bodies. Bodies float by without heads. Skeletons move up and down the aisle. Wispy, cloudy girls and boys hover a few inches off the ground.

  You reach for the door handle. It won’t budge! And the train begins to move!

  “We’re trapped!” you shriek.

  If only you had stayed home and listened to Special Agent Bendrey. Because compared to these ghouls, an alien is nothing!

  And now you’re stuck on this train going nowhere.

  That is, nowhere you want to go!

  Let’s put it this way: Now that you’re on the ghost train, this adventure has definitely come to

  THE END.

  “Aaahhhhhhh!” you shriek in horror.

  Chuck falls to the ground, shaking with fear. Ginny sinks into the pile of bags.

  You can’t tear your eyes away from the terrifying sight. Flesh-colored globs splat onto the floor. Pieces of the conductor’s face dangle around his neck.

  But even more revolting is the disgusting new head that rises from his conductor’s collar. A hairless, misshapen skull with lidless eyes. Yellow eyes. The size of Ping-Pong balls.

  Tentacles shoot out from his sleeves. One wraps around your arm. The other grabs Ginny. A third bursts from the center of his chest. Right through the conductor’s uniform. It yanks Chuck to his feet.

  The tentacle is working its way up your arm toward your face. You’ve got to do something! But what?

  If you punch the creature with your free hand, turn to PAGE 67.

  If you bite the tentacles as hard as you can, turn to PAGE 47.

  “It’s more than Grandma’s weird behavior,” you explain. “It’s a feeling I have.”

  Andrew and Sophie laugh. “Oh, excuse me,” Sophie teases. “I didn’t realize you had a feeling!”

  “We all know how reliable those feelings are!” Andrew adds.

  “Guys!” You run your hands through your hair. “I’m serious.”

  “Don’t freak,” Sophie consoles you with a laugh. “We think you’re nuts, but we’ll still help you.”

  “Yeah!” Andrew nods. “Spying will be fun! What’s the plan?”

  Plan? You haven’t thought of one yet. You gaze out the kitchen window at Grandma in the garden.

  “Maybe we should watch Grandma and try to figure out what she’s doing in the rose garden,” you suggest.

  “Okay.” Andrew and Sophie head for the door.

  Then you have another idea. “Or maybe we should search her room.”

  Andrew and Sophie gaze at you. “She’s your grandmother,” Andrew says. “Make up your mind.”

  You heard Andrew. Choose!

  Spy on Grandma in the garden on PAGE 79.

  Search her room on PAGE 53.

  You glance at Bendrey.

  Your mouth drops open in horror.

  By the bright light of the meteor rays you can clearly see Special Agent Bendrey. He’s transforming in front of you!

  Stalks shoot out from his face. Clusters of eyeballs dangle from the stalks! His head becomes a massive skull, as his human skin slithers off and drips to the ground.

  “Nooooo!” Sophie shrieks.

  You’re too terrified to make a sound.

  Or to run.

  Three creatures exactly like Bendrey burst through the train car door. They quickly drag you and your fri
ends inside.

  “Sorry,” Bendrey apologizes to the other creatures. “I tried to get back before the meteors hit, but these kids delayed me.”

  “No problem,” one of the gross creatures responds. “We know just how to handle them.” It grins.

  When Special Agent Bendrey told you he was an alien investigator, he didn’t mean he investigated aliens. He meant he was an alien who investigated.

  Too bad you didn’t investigate his story. Because now you’re about to come to a gruesome

  END!

  The ground shakes so violently that you, Sophie, and Andrew are thrown down. You stay low, too terrified to move.

  Dozens of miniature versions of the gross Grandma burst from the eggs. The purple flesh doesn’t look any better baby-sized. If anything, you think, the young ones are more disgusting!

  Grandma still hasn’t seen you. All the newly hatched creatures line up in front of her.

  “My children,” she addresses them. “We have traveled to this galaxy to take over this world. You know what you must do. First, feed and grow. Next, fit yourselves out with human body parts.” She holds up one of the rubber masks that you saw in her room earlier. “And then,” she finishes with a hideous cackle, “go forth and carry out the Master Plan!”

  You, Sophie, and Andrew all wear the same look of horror on your faces.

  “We’ve got to stop them! Do you think we can fight them right here?” Sophie whispers.

  “No way. Let’s go tell my parents,” Andrew urges. “We need help!”

  To fight the aliens, turn to PAGE 88.

  Tell Andrew’s parents on PAGE 94.

  “Let me help you with those.” You reach for one of Grandma’s two large suitcases.

  Grandma shakes her head. “No, no. I’m perfectly balanced. If you take one I’ll probably topple over.” She giggles. “Now, that would be a sight!”

  You lead her out of the railroad station and to a taxi. Grandma shoves her suitcases into the trunk and then climbs into the cab beside you.

  “Give the driver your address,” she instructs, “and then tell me all about yourself.”

  You do as she says. But as you launch into a long story about your brilliant performance at school yesterday, she interrupts you.

  “Tell me about the rose garden!” Grandma demands.

  Try not to be annoyed and turn to PAGE 18.

  Alien babies burst from the purple shells. They crawl everywhere, oozing yellow slime. Grandma dances around crazily.

  “My plans to take over the universe will now come true!” Grandma cries. “My babies will be my army! No one will be able to stop us.”

  One little alien baby slithers over to you. It slides across your foot. It glances up and all five of its eyes gaze at you. It squeaks.

  Hey!

  It’s kind of cute.

  You pick it up. It makes a sound like a cat purring.

  Oh, well. If aliens are going to rule Earth, it would probably be a good idea to have at least one alien on your side. Maybe then you won’t come to such a terrifying

  END.

  Are you kidding?

  You’re turning down the chance to have a close encounter of the alien kind? You’d rather go home than spy on creatures from outer space?

  Boy.

  You sure aren’t the kind of kid who usually reads GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS.

  Maybe you should go get your baby brother’s nursery rhymes. Pick this book up again when you stop being such a wimp!

  THE END

  It would be useless to hit the powerful creature. Your fist is too small. It would feel like a gnat slugging an elephant.

  But can you do it? Can you actually sink your teeth into that slimy tentacle?

  You have no choice. It’s wrapping around your throat.

  You shut your eyes and chomp down on the squirming flesh.

  Hmmm. Not bad. Kind of tastes like chicken.

  You dig your teeth in deeper. The creature howls and drops Ginny and Chuck. You hang on with your teeth. Flailing tentacles smash into the walls and the ceiling. The two other creatures duck out of the way as the tentacles flip around.

  CRASH! A strange-looking piece of equipment falls to the floor. The orange light instantly shuts off.

  The ex-conductor’s tentacles must have smashed the light that makes the force field, you realize. You glance at Grandma.

  She blinks three times. She looks dazed.

  The tentacled conductor-creature shrieks and writhes. But the two other creatures leap toward your grandma.

  You release your teeth from the tentacle. “No!” you holler.

  Turn to PAGE 95.

  “My grandma is a special agent, too?” You’re so shocked, your voice squeaks.

  “Exactly,” Bendrey tells you. “We’ve been tracking an alien who we believe has assumed your grandmother’s identity.”

  “Why would anyone impersonate my grandma?” Your head is spinning.

  Bendrey shrugs. “To find out how much we know? To feed us false information? It could be anything.”

  “Why is the alien here?” Andrew asks.

  “We’re not sure,” Bendrey replies. “The alien planted eggs in the rose garden here. We suspect they’re about to hatch.”

  You shudder. Sophie’s face has grown pale. Andrew looks like he’s ready to throw up.

  “I need your help,” Bendrey continues. “We know where they’ve taken your grandma. The trouble is, the aliens who captured her know me. But you may be able to sneak into their headquarters.”

  Your mouth suddenly goes dry. “Me?” you choke out.

  “Or,” Bendrey goes on, “you can keep an eye on the eggs.”

  Both choices sound terrifying. But you have to pick one!

  Help find Grandma on PAGE 20.

  Spy on the alien eggs on PAGE 17.

  “The eggs can wait,” you decide. “We don’t know how long that badminton net will hold Grandma. We should turn her over to the authorities before we do anything else.”

  You, Sophie, and Andrew head back into the house. You grab the phone in the kitchen. You pause, uncertain. “Who do I call?” you ask.

  “No alien hotline in the phone book, huh?” Sophie jokes.

  “My mom says to call 911 if there’s an emergency,” Andrew suggests.

  “An alien in the garage qualifies as an emergency,” you declare. You punch in the numbers.

  Unfortunately, the emergency operator doesn’t believe you. When she stops laughing, she scolds you for tying up the line. “Someone could be trying to phone in a real emergency!” she reprimands you.

  “This is a real emergency!” you insist. But it’s too late. She’s already hung up.

  You slam down the phone. “Now what?” you mutter.

  Turn to PAGE 22.

  You’ve entered the baggage compartment. But luggage isn’t what has the three of you frozen in place, eyes wide.

  Your grandmother sits on a chair surrounded by suitcases. She gazes straight ahead, unblinking. A strange orange light beams down onto her. She doesn’t move. And although her eyes are open, she doesn’t seem to see you.

  “Is she … is she … you know …?” Ginny stammers.

  “I can’t tell,” you reply. “I think she’s alive, but …”

  “I know a way to find out!” Chuck says. He jumps up and down, puts his fingers up his nose, and howls in Grandma’s ear.

  No reaction from Grandma. You swallow hard.

  “Wait. She is alive!” Ginny murmurs, creeping closer. “I can see her breathing.”

  “Then why doesn’t she say something?” you worry aloud.

  “Maybe she’s under some kind of spell,” Ginny whispers.

  “Maybe it’s this weird light,” Chuck suggests. He waves a hand into the orange beam.

  POW! Chuck’s body flies across the railroad car. He lands in a crumpled heap on top of a suitcase.

  Find out if Chuck is okay on PAGE 77.

  “The alien is an impo
stor!” you exclaim. “She’s done something with my real grandma. We have to save her!”

  You explain to Sophie and Andrew about seeing the other woman on the train.

  “We have to go back to the train station.” You start climbing out of the tree house.

  “Do you really think she’ll still be there?” Sophie asks.

  The question stops you. You cling to the tree trunk.

  Maybe going to the train station is a dumb idea. But it’s the only idea you have. “What else can we do?” you demand. “At least it’s a place to start.”

  You scurry the rest of the way down and land with a soft thud on the grass. Sophie and Andrew drop down beside you. The three of you sneak around the side of the house. No sign of Grandma!

  You dash across your front lawn.

  CRRRRACKKK!

  You glance up. Something moved in that tree!

  Who — or what! — made that sound? Find out on PAGE 6.

  You rush to Grandma #1 and assume a martial-arts position just like hers.

  “How could you, Cookie?” Grandma #2 wails. “Why would you choose that fiend over me, your sweet ol’ grandma?”

  “My parents told me my grandma was unusual,” you explain. “And full of surprises.”

  “That certainly describes me!” Grandma #1 boasts.

  “And I don’t think my real grandma would call me that terrible nickname. Especially since I’m not a little kid anymore!” you finish.

  Ginny and Chuck slap high fives. “Way to go!” Chuck cheers.

  “Sorry,” Grandma #1 tells the other Grandma. “But don’t feel too bad about not being believed. The original is always better than the copy.”

  Huh? What’s she talking about?

  Before you can ask, three more women charge through the door.

  More Grandmas!