Spell of the Screaming Jokers Page 7

  “Thanks, Brittany,” Max said before he left. “You sure know how to stack a deck.”

  “Thank you, Max,” I told him. “You sure know how to play your cards right!”

  28

  The next night Frankie called me. I stretched across my bed talking to him.

  “You know what, Brit?” Frankie asked. “Jeff and I went over to Mrs. Marder’s after school today. Jeff had to deliver some groceries.” He coughed, sounding embarrassed. “I thought maybe I should apologize to her. You know. For the birdbath and stuff.”

  “You’re kidding!” I exclaimed.

  “Nope. Anyhow,” Frankie hurried on, “Jeff asked her about her telescope. Know what? Before they retired, she and her husband both worked as astronomers! There’s a cluster of stars somewhere about a billion miles away that’s named after them. It’s called the Marder Formation!”

  “Really?” I said. “But wait a second. Why was her telescope aimed at Max’s window?”

  “You saw how her cats jumped up on everything,” Frankie reminded me. “They must have knocked it out of line. And did you know she rescued all those cats?” he went on. “None of them had homes. They would have been put to sleep if she hadn’t adopted them. She goes out at night sometimes, looking for strays.”

  That must have been what she was doing in the woods outside Louisa’s house! I groaned. “Now I feel terrible for believing those awful stories about her,” I said.

  There was a loud knock at my door.

  “It’s me!” Jimmy called. “I’ve got a great card trick to show you, Brit!”

  “Did you hear that?” I asked Frankie. “Well, Jimmy did show me how to stack a deck. So I guess I owe it to him to let him show me his latest card trick.”

  Frankie laughed. “Have fun, Brit!”

  We hung up. “Come in!” I called to Jimmy. I patted the place next to me on my bed. I was in a great mood that night. If Jimmy had ten new card tricks, I promised myself, I’d watch them all.

  “Okay,” Jimmy said, plopping down on my bed. “Pick a card! Any card!”

  He fanned a deck for me.

  I slid a card out of the middle. “Should I look at it?” I asked him.

  “Definitely,” Jimmy said.

  I turned the card over.

  I stared at it. My mouth suddenly went dry.

  I didn’t want to believe what I was seeing.

  It was a joker!

  The most awful joker I’d ever seen!

  It had bulging green eyes.

  And a piggish, turned-up nose.

  And wild, wiry hair.

  Its big, evil smile spread from ear to ear. A smile formed by red, lipsticked lips.

  It was Mrs. Davidson!

  A golden crown rested on her hideous head.

  Mrs. Davidson—the Queen of the Jokers.

  I watched in horror as the queen opened her wide red mouth and let out a horrible scream.

  My mouth opened too.

  And I screamed and screamed.

  Are you ready for another walk down Fear Street?

  Turn the page for a terrifying sneak preview.

  My eyes popped open the next morning. A pair of eyes stared back at me.

  Fish eyes.

  I sat straight up in bed. I glanced around the room.

  Of course. My first full day at Club Lagoona.

  I gazed at the fish painted on the walls. The bedspread covered with seashells. The fishing net hanging from the ceiling. Even my pillow was shaped like a clam.

  I shook my head. “There’s definitely something fishy about this room,” I joked.

  I crack myself up.

  “So, you’re finally awake,” Polly called from the bathroom we shared. “Mom and Dad will be here any minute. We’re heading over to the Atlantis pool together.”

  I flopped back down on the bed. The Atlantis pool. The Swim or Sink trial with Barry. It was this morning!

  I had to find a way out of this. And it was going to take some pretty fast thinking!

  Polly bounced into my room. She wore a bright black and purple bathing suit. “Mom unpacked your stuff,” she informed me. “Your new bathing suit is in the top drawer. And hurry up!” She yanked the covers off me.

  “Okay. Okay,” I grumbled. I stumbled over to the dresser and yanked open the top drawer.

  Oh man. I reached in and pulled out the most hideous bathing suit I had ever seen.

  I twirled the suit between my fingers. Green volcanoes spewed bright orange lava. In between the volcanoes were awful purple and red flowers.

  Well, at least I would never have to wear the terrible thing. Since there was no way I was getting into the pool! I buried the suit under a pile of T-shirts.

  No bathing suit, no Swim or Sink.

  Dad knocked and popped his head into the room. “You kids ready?” he asked. He stepped inside. Mom followed behind him.

  “It’s time to Get Wet!” they cheered together.

  I cringed. I had to get out of this. I couldn’t let them discover my secret—that I couldn’t swim.

  “I can’t find my bathing suit,” I said.

  “No problem, Tad,” Mom reassured me. “We just stopped at the Wet Set Boutique and I couldn’t resist these.”

  She handed me what had to be the ugliest pair of swimming trunks I’d ever seen. Even worse than the volcano suit I had shoved into the back of the dresser.

  Hmmmmm. Time for Plan B. If I could think of a Plan B.

  “My stomach hurts!” I blurted. “Must have been something I ate.”

  Polly snorted. “You haven’t eaten yet,” she reminded me.

  “You’re just hungry,” Mom reasoned.

  “So quit fooling around and let’s go!” Dad said.

  I had no choice. It was Swim or Sink time.

  And I knew which I was going to do!

  On our way to the Atlantis pool, I spied that weird guy with the bucket again. As I passed him, he paused and picked up a piece of litter.

  “Watch out for the deep end,” he muttered. Then he scurried away.

  What does that mean? What am I supposed to be watching for? I wondered. If he was playing some kind of game, it wasn’t funny!

  But I couldn’t think about him. I had bigger problems on my mind. In a few minutes, the fact that I couldn’t swim would be out in the open. My mom, my dad, and my obnoxious sister were going to witness my humiliating plunge to the bottom of the pool.

  But then something great happened! The lifeguards divided us into four groups: men, women, boys, and girls. My family would be down at the other end of the pool! I was so relieved I almost kissed Polly.

  Almost.

  “See you, Squirt!” I told her cheerfully. I jogged over to join my group.

  Barry was our instructor. He blew a whistle and all the kids in my group jumped into the pool. Even me.

  Ugh! I hate getting wet.

  I clung to the side of the pool. I watched as the others splashed away from me. I figured I would do my usual trick of walking on the bottom and stroking my arms as if I were swimming. It always worked before!

  But not this time! As soon as I let go of the side of the pool, I realized we weren’t in the shallow end! I frantically stretched my legs, trying to touch bottom. It was no good. I was in way over my head.

  I thrashed my feet. I doggie-paddled. It was awful. Everyone was ahead of me and I kept swallowing the water they were kicking up.

  Then I realized I wasn’t alone. There were two other guys doing the doggie paddle too. We were the last in the group to make it to the other side.

  “You three,” Barry called. “You’re in the Guppy class.”

  Oh, well. At least we didn’t sink.

  * * *

  The next day I sat between the two other Guppies. One of the guys was tall, even taller than me. The other kid was kind of chubby. He had on trunks exactly like mine. I guess his mom hit the gift shop too.

  I smiled at them. “I’m Tad,” I said.

  Th
e tall kid grinned. “Let me guess. They call you Tadpole.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. That’s my stupid Club Lagoona name. What’s yours?”

  “Even worse.” He lowered his voice. “My name’s Neal. So they call me Eel.”

  “Don’t worry,” I reassured him. “I’ll stick to Neal.” I turned to the chubby kid. “How about you?”

  “Mark,” he replied.

  “Shark!” Neal and I guessed together.

  “You got it,” Mark-the-Shark admitted. He sighed. “This place gives me the creeps.”

  “Me too,” I agreed. “Hey, has a weird little guy with a bucket—”

  But before I could finish Barry shouted, “Okay, Guppies, Let’s Get Wet!”

  Neal, Mark, and I glanced nervously at each other. Then we slowly slid into the pool.

  Very slowly.

  Barry started by having us stick our faces in the water. “Get used to getting wet!” he explained.

  The next step was to open our eyes underwater.

  “Okay, Tadpole, your turn.” Barry stood in front of me. “When I say so, go underwater. Then open your eyes and count how many fingers I’m holding out. Got that?”

  I nodded.

  “Go!” Barry commanded.

  I ducked underwater and opened my eyes. I blinked a few times. The chlorine burned, but after a moment I got used to it. Barry’s hand came down. He held out three fingers.

  I was about to push back up when something behind Barry caught my attention. Something moving. Something green.

  I peered past Barry’s hand. The water made everything a little blurry.

  Whatever it was had vanished.

  I was running out of air. I surfaced, gasping for breath.

  “How many fingers, Tadpole?” Barry asked.

  “Three,” I replied. I scanned the pool. What was that green thing? And where had it gone?

  Neal and Mark each took his turn counting fingers. I watched their expressions as they came up. Neither one seemed to have noticed anything unusual underwater.

  Had I imagined the green thing?

  Next, Barry stood in the center of the pool. We had to push off from the side and swim underwater to him.

  “If I start to drown, you’ll save me, won’t you?” I murmured to Neal and Mark. I was only half-kidding.

  “If you don’t have to save me first!” Neal joked back.

  “Go!” Barry cried.

  I took a deep breath and went under. I pushed my feet against the side of the pool. The force propelled me forward.

  I glanced over to see how my fellow Guppies were doing. Mark’s arms were flailing all over the place, but he was clipping through the water.

  Neal’s face twisted with effort. But he cruised along, too.

  Then I saw it again. Something green.

  Something that looked like a long, green tentacle.

  And it was reaching for Neal!

  I broke through the surface of the water. I shook my head, spraying water everywhere.

  “What’s the matter, Tadpole?” Barry called. “Did you run out of air?”

  “No! I—I—” My eyes darted around the pool. What creature could be so huge that it had a tentacle that long?

  But if it belonged to a gigantic sea monster, I reasoned, we would all see it.

  Wouldn’t we?

  Neal and Mark stood beside Barry. None of them seemed worried. None of them had seen what I had seen. Which made me wonder if I had really seen it.

  Forget it, I told myself. I spent the rest of the lesson actually having fun. Neal and Mark were cool guys. Even Barry wasn’t so bad, once you got used to him.

  “Okay,” Barry announced. “That’s it for today.”

  As I climbed out of the water, Barry gave me a hand up. Then, a lifeguard rushed over to tell Barry he had a phone call.

  “See you tomorrow!” Barry called as he dashed off.

  I rubbed my head with my towel. I was feeling pretty good. Maybe Club Lagoona wasn’t as horrible as I thought.

  “That wasn’t so terrible,” Neal declared.

  “Yeah,” Mark agreed. “I think I’ll even come to the next lesson. Adios, fellow Guppies.” He slung the towel around his neck and jogged away.

  I said goodbye to Neal and headed back toward my room. I felt a little silly about imagining a green tentacled monster in the pool. Maybe I had been reading too many horror stories about the sea. My mom says I have a vivid imagination.

  I smiled. I made it through a swimming lesson! Maybe I was beginning to like this place.

  That’s when I spotted my sister. She ran toward me.

  Her eyes were enormous!

  She was wet and shaking!

  She was jumping up and down!

  “The creature!” she blurted. “Have you seen the creature?”

  About R. L. Stine

  R. L. Stine, the creator of Ghosts of Fear Street, has written almost 100 scary novels for kids. The Ghosts of Fear Street series, like the Fear Street series, takes place in Shadyside and centers on the scary events that happen to people on Fear Street.

  When he isn’t writing, R. L. Stine likes to play pinball on his very own pinball machine, and explore New York City with his wife, Jane, and son, Matt.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Aladdin

  An Imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing

  1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

  www.SimonandSchuster.com

  Copyright © 1997 by Parachute Press, Inc.

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Pocket Books, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

  ISBN 0-671-00192-2

  ISBN 978-1-4424-8837-3 (eBook)

  Aladdin and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster Inc.